Help us stay free, Link back to us! General Information - Bookmark this page

Attention! Thought Crossing! ? Or, The Secret of What?s Between Your Ears

What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. What's spinning in the back of your mind? Is it that big deadline that's looming at the end of the week? Or how you're going to deal with your mother-in-law this weekend? Or maybe you're worrying about your finances?

Are you even aware of the thoughts going through your head right now? What about... now?

Some Bad News From the Thought Police

Scientists estimate that an average person will think at a rate of roughly between 1 and 4 thoughts per second while awake. That's well over 60,000 thoughts during a typical day! And, of all this jabbering going on in your head, it's estimated that you've thought over 95% of your thoughts before. So, not only is your mind generally on a constant hamster wheel, but it's also doing this spinning continuously, unproductively - and unoriginally.

The Power Between Your Ears - It's Not What You Think

Enough bad news? Ok - now here's the other side of the story. You have within you the greatest, simplest, and most powerful tool imaginable. It can lead you to great prosperity, joy, and fulfillment - or it can drop you instantly into the depths of despair and negativity.

No, I'm not talking simply about the power of thought - not even a fraction of those thousands of stale, repeat thoughts running through your head right now will be of much use to you. (Trust me; nope, not even the one wondering for the tenth time whether you turned the stove off this morning). But what is powerful is where you put your attention within all this clatter.

Mr. Webster Says:

'Attention: Concentration of the mental powers; a close or careful observing or listening'. So how does that apply to you? 'Concentration of the mental powers' - all too often, we give away the concentration part of our attention to things utterly undeserving. Thoughts of worry, negative predictions, minor irritations, and daily minutiae are hardly productive, and take up too much room in your head.

And this leaves very little space for the second, critical, aspect of attention: 'a close or careful observing or listening'. We, as a culture, don't like to sit back and listen. We prefer to be constantly inundated with forceful messages which grab our attention and don't let go. We too often forget to sit back and actually listen to the small voice of intuition. You know, the one that already has the answers that we're trying so hard to figure out.

Try It Now

Give it a shot. Really. Stop for a minute, and focus actively on your thoughts - concentrate. What are you thinking? You know, that quiet and incessant little buzz behind your eyes; that unsettled feeling - what's behind that? Now shift your attention to listening, see if there's a message waiting for you. Just below the surface, what is it saying? Listen... You're now learning to distinguish the noise of your mind from the voice of your intuition, your inner knowing - all through the tool of attention.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

There's huge power in putting your attention actively on your thoughts. This helps you to separate the you from the thought. You are not your thoughts, you are having thoughts, they are passing through your head. You are bigger than your thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you want to give them power. And you do this by either giving them your attention, or by allowing them to just float on by.

Head and Heart

And it's not just thoughts that you can focus your attention on. As cognitive psychologists and holistic healers have known for years, emotions and thoughts are deeply intertwined. One influences the other, and both influence your physical biochemistry. So learning to actively focus your attention on the thoughts and feelings you want, while letting go of those you don't want, could be the best thing you'll ever do for your health, your well being, and your happiness.

Oy Vey

'Great', you may say. 'But it isn't so easy to catch my thoughts and feelings, or to do something about them. I don't even know how I feel half of the time, and the thoughts go by so quickly!' Fear not - here's are a few simple exercises.

Use Your Words

One way to 'catch' your fleeting thoughts and feelings and to focus your attention on them is to 'use your words'. Just like a parent may tell an unruly and whining child who is about to pick a fight to 'use your words' to explain what's bothering him, so can you gently nudge yourself to discipline. This may seem silly, but it's remarkably powerful. Write down or speak out loud (or into a tape recorder) exactly what the thoughts and feelings are. Articulating them clearly gives them shape and focus, and allows you much more freedom to act in a way that supports your growth.

Thanks For Sharing

Now, as for how to manage the spinning and repeating thoughts, here's a very simple and effective trick. Just like a parent knows not to take everything their child says too seriously, you can also learn to distinguish helpful thoughts and feelings from destructive ones. You can simply tell your thinker - 'thanks for sharing. I will take your comments under advisement. Now, please move along'.

So What?

So how does all this relate to helping you find 'what's next', or guiding you to 'a you-er you'? Very directly, actually. If you practice putting your direct attention on the jabbering of your mind, articulating those slippery thoughts, and consciously and purposefully telling them 'thanks for sharing!' and then purposefully re-focusing your attention where YOU choose, you will begin to create the space for your true inner voice to come through.

Plant the Seeds:

Now it's your turn. Take a couple of minutes and try these exercises. Really. Try it now. You never know - hey, what's next...?

1. Practice noticing your thoughts. Try the exercise in the 'Try it Now' section above. Really.

2. Use your words. Get over feeling silly, and actually write down what your thoughts are. Try speaking, try using a tape recorder. Experiment. Notice which thoughts show up over and over. Note your top 5 - make friends with them, and thank them profusely for sharing. And remember - attention is power. What thoughts are you giving your power to?

3. Choose consciously. Once you become aware of the thoughts going through your head, you can begin to make choices. For example: 'Hm, I've been thinking a lot about how unhappy I am in my job. Thanks for sharing. Duly noted. I think I'll choose to focus my attention elsewhere right now, thanks.'

P.S. So - what are you thinking... now?

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at mailto:in@heyWhatsNext.com.

? 2004 Inna Nirenburg

About The Author

Inna Nirenburg is a powerful life coach and workshop leader. She uses her deep wisdom and intuition, as well as a concrete actionable process, to help you answer the question 'What's Next?' in all areas of your life. See http://www.heyWhatsNext.com for more information, or to subscribe to her monthly newsletter, 'Inklings: Your Guide to a You-er You'.

In The News:


DeSoto Times Today

Resignation Raises Issue of Minorities in Coaching
New York Times, United States - Nov 30, 2008
By PETE THAMEL Mississippi State Coach Sylvester Croom resigned on Saturday, ending his tenure as the only African-American head football coach in ...
Jackson Reacts to Coaching Change DawgsBite.com
MSU COACHING SEARCH:Will they stay ... Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal
With Croom gone, Miss. St. focuses on what's next SportingNews.com
Biloxi Sun Herald - DawgsBite.comall 1,051 news articles

Los Angeles Times

A coaching move that would make sense
Washington Times, DC - 2 hours ago
Pearman remained the special teams coordinator at 'Bama when Swinney was both a grad assistant (1993-95) and tight ends coach (1996-97) for the Crimson Tide ...
Clemson's coaching appointment needs to consider past and future Greenville News
Dabo mum on potential staff changes The State
Coaching candidates whom Clemson should not consider RealFootball365.com
SportingNews.com - Bleacher Reportall 643 news articles

Big East/Notre Dame coaching carousel
The Star-Ledger - NJ.com, NJ - 3 hours ago
by Star-Ledger Staff Greg Schiano may have done his best coaching job at Rutgers this season - but unlike the previous two - doesn't figure to be in any ...
Cincinnati's Kelly dodges job speculation Chicago Tribune
all 5 news articles

Coaching arms race unconstrained by logic
Seattle Post Intelligencer - Nov 30, 2008
By ART THIEL IT'S A LITTLE surprising that Fresno State's Pat Hill wants the University of Washington football coaching job. By the time they reach their ...

Wyoming selects first in coaching go-round
Deseret News, UT - 11 hours ago
In an update on coaching hires and rumors, Wyoming pushed the button on Missouri assistant head coach and offensive coordinator Dave Christensen, ...
Ute football: Whittingham, assistant have suitors Salt Lake Tribune
Blog: Rockmonster unplugged Deseret News
all 4 news articles

Seattle Times

Coaching search continues
The Daily of the University of Washington, WA - 11 hours ago
Fresno State coach Pat Hill told Fresno area reporters before his team’s annual awards banquet Sunday that he has been interviewed for the vacant head ...
Fresno State's Pat Hill has interview with UW Seattle Times
Fresno State coach Hill interviews for Washington Huskies job Visalia Times-Delta
Willingham's final game at UW arrives International Herald Tribune
all 34 news articles

Coaching-Search Guessing Game Continues at Washington
Kitsap Sun,  United States - 14 hours ago
The biggest is Mora, the Seattle Seahawks secondary coach and head coach in waiting. "It's killing us," cornerback Quinton Richardson said. ...
Coach's Corner Dawgman.com
UW to get close look at Jeff Tedford Seattle Times
Tedford says no contact from UW HeraldNet
all 20 news articles

Chizik overhauls coaching staff
Go Cyclones, ia - 12 hours ago
By Bobby La Gesse On the tail end of a holiday weekend known for retail spending, Iowa State football coach Gene Chizik overhauled his staff as he stripped ...
Iowa State's Chizik shakes up staff Dubuque Telegraph Herald
all 5 news articles

Rivers wins third straight coaching award
Rocky Mountain News, CO - 18 hours ago
AP BOSTON (AP) _ Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers has been named the NBA Eastern Conference Coach of the Month for November. Rivers on Monday became the ...
CELTICS NOTES: Rivers named coach of the month Enterprise News
Honor roll for Doc Rivers Boston Herald
Doc Rivers is Eastern Conference Coach of the Month Providence Journal
Worcester Telegramall 12 news articles

WLFI.com

New Purdue coach replaces offensive coordinator
Chicago Tribune, United States - 2 hours ago
AP WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. - Incoming Purdue football coach Danny Hope is replacing the Boilermakers' offensive coordinator. Hope has hired Gary Nord as the ...
Hope announces coaching staff changes WLFI.com
Coach-to-be Hope announces staff changes The Exponent
Purdue's Hope brings in new offensive coordinator Fort Wayne Journal Gazette
all 20 news articles
coaching - Google News

That Little Bit Of Extra

The "little bit extra" is a very powerful concept to put into practice today in every aspect of your life. The difference between being ordinary and being extraordinary is that little bit EXTRA.... Read More

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights. It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion.... Read More

We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be

The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely encounter: I recently had lunch with a new friend named Rick Rockwell. You may remember him as the bachelor from the first-ever reality... Read More

COACHING: When it?s Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil

How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will it take to sooth your appetite? To actually get your life to where you want it to be? To actually start seeing changes... Read More

Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters

Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us to share our thoughts and feelings by describing our personal views of reality.Yet language is not reality. It is merely a limited system... Read More

Are You Addicted to Anger?

Michael was raised in a home where anger was used to control. His parents used their anger to attempt to control each other as well as their children. Sometimes the anger erupted into... Read More

Automatic Brain Works Overtime For You

Use all of your brain to be your most effective."Running on Automatic" is what I call the ability to visualize what you need to have happen. Automatic because the part of your brain... Read More

How to Forgive Another for Past Hurts

No one gets through life without being hurt by another person. We all have experienced the pain of a thoughtless remark, gossip, or lie. If you have experienced an unhappy marriage, the devastation... Read More

The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness

One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people.If... Read More

Profitable Idea Generation in 4 Steps Using Improv

A large percentage of business are stuck, tied to narrow ways of thinking about themselves and their products. In the business environment you can't be stuck and survive.Using the techniques of stage Improv,... Read More

Do You Mind If Someone Screams At You?

A headhunter was on the other end of the phone. He was looking for an assistant to a CEO/Owner for a small, but very successful business. Essentially, he wanted someone at his disposal... Read More

Grow Through It

It's past bedtime for most working men. It's not unbearably late and I have no appointments tomorrow morning so I sit here and contemplate. Contemplate what? Well, what do I always contemplate? Life,... Read More

Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!

Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and lead....And you failed miserably when you went out into the real world.Let me... Read More

The Power of Effective Coaching Skills

The most valuable assets of a 20th century company were its production equipment. The most valuable assets of a 21st century organization ? will be its knowledge, workers and their productivity. -Peter DruckerPeter... Read More

Life On The Receiving End Of Coaching

What is it like to be on the receiving end of mentoring to improve your performance in pocket billiards and at the same time, participate in life changing coaching?You are the reason for... Read More

Make a Decision and Take Action!

How are you progressing with the goals you set yourself this year?Have you made a start? Or are you still thinking about it or caught the very popular "I'm too busy" epidemic?Mary's StoryMary... Read More

Corporate Coaching and Employees: One Step Ahead

"Don't shoot... We're on the same side."Contrary to popular belief, a corporate coaching session with your employees is not the beginning of the change process. Our studies and consulting indicate that, 90% of... Read More

Sometimes, It Just Takes ONE Conversation to Change Your Life!

I was thinking this morning about the importance of the profession that I am in. Besides doing various trainings, workshops and consulting, I also coach people. Coaching is a profession that continues to... Read More

Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility

Emotional dependency means getting one's good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Who or what do you believe is responsible for your emotional... Read More

Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.At the time, I did not know I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure. I kept making the same mistakes without... Read More

Surviving the Workday in Your Organization

Most people suffer from stress at some time during the day. When you recognise your own peak and low energy levels, you can work with your body clock to maintain high productivity and... Read More

The Incredible Rightness of Being

An Age-Old QuestionSearching for more meaning in our lives has been an age-old preoccupation for us humans. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What's the point of it all?... Read More

Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of... Read More

Going Beyond Life Coaching

In Corrogue the air is chill and the frost is on the ground.On these autumn mornings the spider's webs are glistening like each was arrayed with diamonds. The red berries of the holly... Read More

Think, Pause & Talk

There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in every walk of life1] who talks negative and excessive and2] who talks whenever required or talks right and right time.But in reality we... Read More

The Right Coach

Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program. One of the... Read More

Getting Unstuck: Moving Forward To Success

Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity? You circle around and around between wanting to move forward and then apathy? Covering the same ground and never moving forward? It could... Read More

Let?s Say You?re a Dog. Are You So Competitive You?d Eat a Carrot?

Seems like a gal always learns something out on the farm! Yes, it's a farm tale and I'm going to change the names of the animals to protect the guilty!I spent last weekend... Read More

What Is A Personal Trainer

Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets. What do you do first? Is this one safe? Are you using it right?... Read More

GOOGLE AD