Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation

There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be truly effective, the ability to listen (often for what is missing rather than what is said) and the ability to ask the right question at the right time.

Now in reality there are no 'right' questions, there are however some very good, and fairly generic questions that when asked which can make a significant difference to the way in which a coaching interaction progresses.

Q1. What would be better than X? Often a coaching conversation will focus on a particular clients problem where they will focus on something that they want to change in their current situation and the client may spend a great deal of time discussing how terrible the world is for this injustice etc. One of the key tasks of a coach is to help a client identify opportunities that they wouldn't necessarily see themselves. The 'What would be better than X?' question pulls the client out of a reflective mode into a more solution oriented position. There is one thing to be aware of with this and that is a response from the client along the lines 'For X not to happen', this is avoidance rather than a solution and you can follow up with 'What would be better than the absence of X?' You can keep asking this question over and over until you have a range of possibilities from good to great.

Q2. What can YOU do to get this to happen? Coaching is about getting the client to take ownership and for them to do things themselves. Coaching isn't about helping it is about supporting and guiding and it is all too easy (especially for managers who are coaching) to take on the problems of the client as theirs to solve. To be an effective coach the client has to come to the solution on their own and has to take ownership of what they want. The 'What can YOU do to get this to happen?' pushes the coaching client to think about their interactions and how they are the responsible party. Remember you are there to expand the choices available so as a coach you need to ensure that the individual avoids the 'not my fault' trap. Ownership is key here.

Q3. If you did/got Y how would this impact A, B and C? Sometimes a solution will present itself and the client will latch on to a solution without thinking it through, and it is unlikely that their circumstances will be the same as yours so you will not have the answers to this question and don't assume that the client will have thought of any of the wider ramifications of their solution. The A, B and C can be anything examples include Family, Finances, Career Progression, Lifestyle, Colleagues, Employer etc. This is an ecology check question and it is important for the client to understand that any decision they make on any subject will impact many people.

Q4. What would you lose by doing/getting Y? There will be some form of loss with any decision and recognising it that is an important step in the decision making process. Often it is the fear of loss (rather than the loss itself) that holds us locked in position when in reality we can usually overcome most things in life if we know about them in advance and more importantly put them into perspective. Don't be fobbed off with a 'nothing' answer, this just shows that the client isn't thinking things through and needs more prodding. If you get stuck here you can offer a few examples, but do so as a last resort as the client will likely jump on one of your suggestions without thinking about their own situation.

Q5. When will you do this? Perhaps the most important question and listen carefully for the answer, especially for the silent 'but'. Often a client will seem enthusiastic in the coaching session and the moment they are back into the real world their resolve falters and they go back to the same old patterns of behaviour. If a client appears enthusiastic and they want to take rapid action then great, excellent progress at which point you schedule a follow up call for sometime within the next week to see how they got on?it creates momentum.

Remember these are just guidance questions and will need to be tailored for each coaching interaction but when used they can make a significant difference in moving a coaching client towards their outcomes.

To be effective as a coach questioning is just part of the equation and listening, really listening to the answers is actually more important not only for what information is contained within the answers but also for the bits left out.

Use these questions in your next coaching interaction and just notice what changes, you won't be disappointed.

More information regarding Organisational Change, Coaching and Performance Development can be found at http://www.achievinggreatness.co.uk

2005 ? Achieving Greatness Ltd. All rights reserved.

----

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link.

L Stuart Avery is the Managing Director of Achieving Greatness Ltd, an organisation dedicated to raising awareness around personal and management behaviours. Achieving Greatness specialises in offering advice and support to organisations going through change intitiatives and looking to enhance the performance of their staff. It provides training courses, facilitiation services and coaching to business leaders on Leadership, Management and Strategy.

Stuart has over 20 years of experience across a wide range of industries including Government, Charities, Retail, Travel, Insurance, IT Services and Logistics.

For more information visit http://www.achievinggreatness.co.uk

---

The Real Truth About Working Smarter, Not Harder

Running a business or department can often stretch you to the limit.To be effective at doing what you do best, it's imperative to look at what tasks you can either delegate or outsource.DelegatingThis... Read More

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: How Do You Change the World?

Recently, I saw an exhibition of paintings by a very talented artist. He clearly has a social conscience and his depictions of the pain and misery of disenfranchised and minority people are so... Read More

Purpose

Many people go through much of their lives without really thinking about their purpose. I don't mean a lofty, philosophic, and often unrealistic purpose that has us striving to save the world or... Read More

What To Do? Lifes Big Question

We've all experienced the same thing at important crossroads in our life when big changes were underway. Often, we find ourselves feeling panic and frozen in time, possibly with indecision, waiting and wondering:... Read More

Ch-Ch-Chain of Hearts: Cranking Up Compassion

Can you hear your compassion? It's time to crank it up.One of the most difficult challenges we face in our quest to be compassionate is dealing with conflict. Those we love most tend... Read More

Are You Seduced by The Dark Side of Wealth Creation? Get-Rich-Quick Scammers

With the growing number of expert business people, consultants and coaches keen to make money from multiple streams of income I thought I'd share a WARNING to help you spot genuinely useful information... Read More

Communicating Anger Compassionately

Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an emotion everyone knows about. Unfortunately, few people have been taught how to mange this feeling in an assertive and compassionate way. If we... Read More

A Sure-Fire, 10-Step Formula To Get Started As A Coach Or Consultant

"My guess is first I'll need some zippy flyers and a tri-fold brochure" said an email from Matt last week. Sadly, he is not the only one thinking that the first step to... Read More

How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part A for Attitude!

My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry. No... Read More

Keeping Your Anger Under Control

In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and... Read More

A Christmas Wish

My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She has had few friends and her boyfriends have never been good for her. Now she has finally found a man who adores her.They... Read More

A World of Possibility

When I started my sales career over 25 years ago, I worked for a small company selling telephone answering equipment. Hard to believe it but in those days I had to explain to... Read More

Addiction to Blame

Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety... Read More

The Power of Visualization

Professional athletes and other highly successful people use the power of visualization technique on a regular basis. Why? Results of a 20-year study of the effects of visualization on results revealed an amazing... Read More

The Great Marketing Reframe

From grimaces to stomach knots, talking about marketing seems to take on the sound of Charlie Brown's teacher, with so many syllables of "wah WAaah, wah WAah, wah." What does this mean? For... Read More

Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep!

Are you one of the millions of people who make big New Year's Resolutions each year, only to watch those resolutions fall by the wayside mere days or weeks later? Would you like... Read More

Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights. It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion.... Read More

Action NOT Reaction

Do you feel you are in charge of your life do you really believe that you control your destiny? Or you are of those people who feel manipulated all the time, they are... Read More

Business Coaching Legacy: Reflections on What You Want to Leave Behind?

Updating my will has been on my mind for quite some time now. Life circumstances change, kids grow-up, financial situations changes. I procrastinated for a very long time about this will. Now that... Read More

Self-Defense Within Martial Arts Training Demands a Real-World Perspective

This story is being offered in response to a request made by my teacher, Soke (Grand Master) Masaaki Hatsumi, during a recent training visit to Japan. During one of the training sessions, Soke... Read More

Your Personal Treasure Chest

Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic components of THE ENCHANTED SELF. That's what I've decided to do this time.Discovering your ENCHANTED SELF is a new way for you to... Read More

How To Overcome Stuck States In Personal Growth

Although many of us use self-help tools like affirmations, visualizations, NLP techniques, and spiritual invocations, we sometimes find that nothing happens. This, to say the least, is disheartening. After many years as... Read More

Executive Coaching and the American President

Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. president has the right to advise executives: "The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he... Read More

Ten Benefits of Having a Relationship Coach

As a Master Certified Relationship Coach, I work with singles to help them attract a great match and with couples to help put their relationships back on track. I hear great feedback from... Read More

Is The Apprentice Bad For Your Health?

If you know who I mean when I say Kwame, Bill and Troy, you're probably a fan of The Apprentice. I admit I'm not a fan myself; I don't watch much television and... Read More

Change the Words and Change the World

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIf we want to change our lives in any way, all we need to do... Read More

The Role of Grief Group Facilitators

Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and support groups are for individuals who have an interest in the grief process. The purpose of these groups is to promote grief education... Read More

Do You Make Less Money Than Your Taller Peers?

A recent study at the University of Florida found that over the span of their careers short people earn less money than their taller counterparts. In terms of cold hard cash, each extra... Read More

Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making

What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances, to make them for you.And that is giving up control of your life. That's giving up all power to your life to other... Read More