Help us stay free, Link back to us! General Information - Bookmark this page

College Residence Life Staff: Speak to Gain Respect

When you speak, do residents listen or ignore you? If you're having trouble commanding respect, it could be the way you're saying it. Here is a list of words that can sabotage your effectiveness as a communicator. See if you recognize any of these red flags in your speech:

Should, Have to: These come across as condescending. Instead of telling people what they should do, offer suggestions. Then let them decide.

Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody: These words rarely paint an accurate picture and come across as over-dramatizing. You'll lose credibility. Instead, use words such as "sometimes," "occasionally," or "some people."

But: This negates everything that comes before it and can make you sound like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Replace it with "and."

Try: This is one big escape clause and makes others question your commitment. Don't try, just do it.

You: Starting sentences like this comes across as attacking and blaming. Instead, be accountable by starting with "I."

Okay: Tagging this word onto the end of sentences makes it sound like you're asking permission: "I'm upset right now, okay?" Lose it, or people won't take you seriously.

These changes may seem small and subtle, but you'll be surprised what an impact they can have on how people respond to you. You may also start to notice that when you react negatively to someone, it's because he or she has used some of these phrases.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the college survival guide, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate From Hell" (Adams Media). She offers my college survival tips on her Web site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com

In The News:


CBS News

Study Looks at Mental Disorders in College-Age Adults
Voice of America - 4 hours ago
Researchers at the New York State Psychiatric Institute and Columbia University in New York City did the study. It appears this month in the Archives of ...
Young adults hit by mental health issues Baltimore Sun
Few Young Adults Seek Treatment for Psych Disorders U.S. News & World Report
1 in 5 young adults has personality disorder The Associated Press
Los Angeles Times - Science Daily (press release)all 479 news articles

Paying for college in tough financial times
9NEWS.com, CO - 6 hours ago
-Money saved through college savings plans offered by CollegeInvest can be used nationwide at any eligible public or private college, university or ...

Area college, university officials bracing for cuts
Joplin Globe, MO - Dec 1, 2008
Bruce Speck, Missouri Southern State University president, on Monday announced a campuswide moratorium on travel and hiring. “I know people don’t like the ...

New York Times

Rise of College Club Teams Creates a Whole New Level of Success
New York Times, United States - 14 minutes ago
“Intramural sports can be too loose and not competitive enough,” said Tiffany Villalba, a senior on Villanova University’s women’s club soccer team, ...

Carnegie Mellon CyLab Survey Unveils Major Gap in the Way US ...
MarketWatch - 11 hours ago
CyLab is located in the College of Engineering at Carnegie Mellon University. For more, see www.cylab.cmu.edu. About Carnegie Mellon: Carnegie Mellon is a ...

College at Age 16
Washington Post, United States - 14 hours ago
New Hampshire, while lauding the cost savings of the plan, points to the dozens of industrialized countries that expect students to be ready for college at ...

ABC News

College Students Also Need Flu Vaccine
ABC News - 13 hours ago
Receiving the flu vaccine at Harvard University Health Services in Cambridge, Mass. The study, in this weeks issue of the Archives of Pediatric and ...
Flu Vaccine Linked To Reduced Illness, Impairment Of Academic ... Science Daily (press release)
Influenza Vaccination Among College and University Students Impact ... Archives of Pediatrics
all 12 news articles

Afro American

Lawmaker suggests merging black, white colleges
Columbus Ledger-Enquirer, GA - Dec 1, 2008
... State University would merge with Darton College. University system Chancellor Erroll Davis told lawmakers that such move would face strong opposition. ...
Senator: Merge black, white colleges Atlanta Journal Constitution
Should Albany State University and Darton College merge? WALB-TV
Ga. senator suggests black colleges merge United Press International
Albany Herald On-line - Atlanta Journal Constitutionall 36 news articles

A&M system aims to be 'military friendly' by next fall
Houston Chronicle, United States - Dec 1, 2008
AP COLLEGE STATION, Texas — The Texas A&M University System will push to get all its schools designated as "military friendly" in time for new educational ...
A&M making strides to be ‘military friendly’ Temple Daily Telegram
Mission Military Friendly launched at A&M NewsOK.com
A&M system pushes to be 'military friendly' NewsWest9.com
Killeen Daily Herald - Houston Chronicleall 48 news articles

BCS Beats Texas In Red River Sellout
Washington Post, United States - 6 hours ago
College football must be a wonderful game to survive what so many university presidents and conference commissioners have done to it in recent years. ...
college university - Google News

Caribbean Single Market and Economy - Who Says UWI isn?t Doing Enough?

The University of the West Indies (UWI) has often been viewed as a long-standing partner to Caribbean Governments in fostering integration and development of our people, and forming strategic alliances.CARICOM member states are... Read More

How to Survive with As

Attend ClassGo to class, every class, every time. It is very common and very easy not to attend class. "I can always get the notes from a friend". In some schools you can... Read More

Online Education Has The Power To Transform Lives And Fulfill Dreams

Online education is a dramatic development in the advancement of distance learning. A century ago, a person without access to a school or training program could sometimes get the information that they desired... Read More

College Roommate Personality Clashes: How to Survive

Are you living with your total opposite? It's amazing how different two people sharing the same (tiny) room can be. Even the littlest things can drive you crazy after awhile! You eat Big... Read More

Online Nursing Degree For Busy Nurses

Many who work in the healthcare or nursing industry know without question that free time (time within which to relax and call your own) is at a premium. In this regard, they work... Read More

9 Lessons for Success in College - That Actually Make Sense

Most students know what it takes to be successful in college because some genius told them already. But here's the news flash: The prescription probably won't work. Why? Free advice is usually forgettable... Read More

How to Give Yourself a Raise with an Online College Degree

There are many people today from all walks of life who are getting an online college degree from home. Dollar for dollar, an online college degree or post graduate work pays off.The quickest... Read More

How to Survive First Year Engineering

So you just got accepted in your engineering program?joy, but you are still doubtful. You ask yourself, could I actually handle the stress, the sleepless nights, the solitary life style and the Exams?... Read More

Reducing the Administrative Burden for Further Education Colleges

The introduction of the Government's Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA) in September 2004 meant that more young people from poorer backgrounds could afford to stay on in further education instead of being forced to... Read More

Why Do You Want a Degree?

There are many reasons people seek degrees in today's day and age. As a grown adult, it may seem like an unrealistic goal, but it is achievable. You may be sick of your... Read More

Online Degree Education - Advantages

Distance education has been getting a lot of attention lately, but it isn't new. Correspondence courses have been around for over a century, allowing students to complete assignments and mail them to an... Read More

Creating the Acceptable College Applicant

America's colleges and universities no longer have enough room to accommodate all the qualified students who apply. As a result, schools are forced to reject far more applicants than they accept. The goal... Read More

What You Should Know About Scholarships

When it's time to go to college, the word "scholarship" is confusing for both students and parents. We automatically think about student loans, FAFSA, tuition and fees, EFC, grants, and work study. But... Read More

Writing Effective (and Requisite) Essay Openers

When we write for college courses, we write for an audience other than ourselves. And it's an audience of more than one-the professor who assigned the piece. A good way to think of... Read More

Whats behind the Explosive Growth in Distance Learning?

There is a ground swell of support globally to support the growth of distance learning. Market research firms, government agencies, public and private companies, and even venture capital firms ? those companies that... Read More

Chiropractic Colleges

Before CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGES & SCHOOLS accept one into their educational systems, it is recommended that students have earned a degree in the arts or sciences from an accredited college or university. Chiropractic colleges... Read More

College Entertainment for Less

Most of these activities are free or very cheap:* Campus music or dance recitals* College theater productions* Guest speakers* Poetry readings* Museum tours* Sports-either participate or go route for your school* Film and... Read More

Online Education and Digital Divide

Digital Education is really coming along thanks to the US Military and their expenditures in the IT Framework to make training available. The IT companies doing this training are in fact able to... Read More

Online Colleges as a Resource for Your New Career

Online Colleges require successful team buildingMost online colleges require their students to work together in teams to fulfill their coursework obligations. The University of Phoenix Online, for example, requires weekly participation and discussion... Read More

Chiropractic Schools

Before CHIROPRACTIC SCHOOLS accept one into their educational system, it is recommended that students have earned a degree in the arts or sciences from an accredited college or university. Chiropractic schools also require... Read More

Balancing College Life and Academics

1. Control Your Schedule; Don't Let Your Schedule Control YouOrganization and time management skills are two of the most valuable skills you will ever have. One of the first things you should do... Read More

Consolidate Student Loans and Shop Online

If you run a home business, you know that budgets can be pretty tight. Saving money wherever possible can be the difference between the business that succeeds and the one that fails. This... Read More

Government Research Procurement Fails to Bring Efficient Bidders

Many have complained of the Government's procurement process for research proposals. It is totally flawed. Instead of giving bids to entrepreneurs who know how to get things done on the fly, they so... Read More

What to Look for When Choosing an Online Degree Program

Choosing an online education program should be exciting and fun. While there a many good, recognized diploma or degree programs available through online education, choosing the one which is right for you can... Read More

College Tuition Costs are Spiralling

So, our children want to fly away from the nest and further their academic life in college. But with escalating costs, can we afford it? Will they have to take part time jobs... Read More

Academic Research on the Internet : There Is a Better Way

Students nowadays start their research projects by looking up information on the web. And they are very right to do so, as there are libraries of useful information available. And the best thing... Read More

Natural Healing Schools

What are NATURAL HEALING SCHOOLS? Natural Healing Schools teach natural medicine that are holistic approaches that rely on natural remedies. Sunlight, air, and water are thought of as natural healers; this, along with... Read More

5 Leading Online Schools

The internet has revolutionized many parts of our economy. You can shop, meet people online and, now, you can take college courses for credit. Five schools are influencing "distance learning" like no others... Read More

Looking For a Rewards Program That Offers Free Money for College Students?

With the rising cost of books, tuition and housing, it's no wonder that college students are looking for ways to cash in on anything that can lighten their financial load. It isn't easy... Read More

GOOGLE AD