Chat Forums and Blogs: The Unofficial Internet Posting Rules

Have you been hanging around in internet forums and/or making blog comments lately? Public posting is growing ever-popular. One thing I've noticed, is that if you use it for business purposes and you accidentally blurt the wrong thing, it can get ugly pretty quick. A remark that was never intended to be malevolent turns out to offend somebody, and next thing you know, you're engaged in yet another public forum ping pong match. This can be downright exhausting. So is there a 'proper' way to conduct oneself on the network, in the forum, and on the blog? From what I've seen so far, I have to say yes.

May I present: The Unofficial Internet Posting Rules.

1. Always assume that the other person has good intentions.

There you are, sprinkling comments here and there and having a fine old time, when suddenly up pops someone who begs to differ. A good debate can be envigorating, but if things escalate, you may begin to feel attacked and/or misunderstood. Do you have a right to feel this way? Who is attacking who anyway?

Internet conversations feel remote because they are. You can't diffuse a tense conversation by cracking a joke or meeting someone's eyes with a silent apology. Internet 'arguments' can string along for days because, unlike a verbal argument which quickly fades from your memory, they're harsh words frozen in time. Someone who is ripping you a new one on the public forum may actually be a wonderful person who thinks a lot like you, but you wouldn't know because all you see are those hostile words on the screen that won't go away!

For this reason, it's unbelievably important not to take internet skirmishes to heart. The truth is, you may be taking offense for no good reason. And even if someone really does seem to be out for your blood... who cares? Click away and they're gone. Besides; the world is watching. How much of a scene do you want to make?

2. Ditch the sarcasm.

Sarcasm really does not translate on the internet. Sarcasm is my favorite form of communication, so believe me I've tried. People can't tell by your tone or gestures if you're serious, kidding, scathing, or what, so if you want to communicate effectively and efficiently, steer clear of sarcasm. I'll give you an example of sarcasm causing confusion on the internet.

Networker 1: Say, Networker 2, how was that teleseminar you attended?
Networker 2: It was really something special.

"It was really something special." Hmmm. What could that mean, exactly? Sounds a little smart-alecky, but who knows! The reader can't be sure, so a straightforward answer might be the better option. "The guy was a good speaker, but I felt like he was telling me things I already knew. I'll have to pick a more advanced course next time." Now, there's a complete answer that's based in fact and well-expressed!

Some people use emoticons to convey when they're being sarcastic, such as the smiley :) for "just kidding" , the wink ;) which might mean, "I'm just teasing," or the guy-with-his-tongue-out :P-- "I know I'm being goofy." Other people use internet gestures, like the *grin* and the :::shiver:::.

Emoticons are okay for a less formal public forum setting, but not so much for business networking. Use them sparingly. How are you supposed to appear professional if you're throwing (((hugs))) everyone's way? I don't know about you, but I don't go around hugging people I don't know!

All this being said: stick to literal communication whenever possible. I know more than anybody how tough this is. If you're really unsure about it, you can always just be a forum 'lurker' for a while, until you get the hang of how it's done.

3. Instead of offering opinions, ask questions.

People love to argue. Make a statement, and by God, someone out there is going to contradict it. If you enjoy and know how to play the debate game, take them on... it will be a learning experience for all. But if conflict makes your tummy hurt, you can spur on a discussion in a more genteel way; by asking questions!

If you ask people what they think, they'll feel encouraged to jump into the discussion... and that's what you want, isn't it? Ask questions, and let folks know you're open to new points of view. When you word your ideas in the from of questions, you're basically saying "Hey, I know I don't have all the answers. But I'm thinking, and I'd love for you to add your insights." Then, by phrasing your questions in a specific way, you can gently 'lead' the conversation. Next time you have a strong opinion to state, practice rephrasing it into a question. "What ways might we practice common courtesy in an effort to improve internet communication?" There, see how easy that was?

4. Remember the real-time issue.

If you haven't noticed, real-time has some wacky effects on internet communication. Sometimes, messages look like they're written in response to something someone else said... when really, they just landed there by sheer coincidence!

Suppose someone posts a remark at 9:05 a.m. Pacific Time, as you just happen to be posting the exact opposite viewpoint at 12:05 p.m. Eastern Time. When the messages "land" one after the other, it creates the illusion that the second person was arguing with the first person, when actually they were not and had no knowledge of the other person's post! Whoa. That's real-time at work, and it's some crazy stuff. The lesson to be learned: don't assume anything, especially on the internet.

The other way that real-time can botch up the works is if you're seeking advice or technical support. You post a question, some time elapses, and the moderator replies. But by now, you've figured out the answer and it's led you to a third complication. Now, you can either try and over-explain the confusion in an effort to be polite, or say to yourself, "the heck with this" and leave the discussion, which could be perceived as rude. It's quite a fretful situation. Keeping this in mind...

5. Think before you speak.

Using the example from Point 4: thinking before you ask technical questions can save everybody the exhaustion of over-communication. Rather than blurt out your confusion, have a look around, see what's going down. Is there an FAQ section you can refer to?

I have been known to dive right in to the chat without knowing what the heck is happening. As a result, I am familiar with the taste of shoe leather. If you're puzzled about what's going on in a public forum discussion... can you go back and read a few old posts to get caught up? You'll save everyone a lot of wasted words if you just get with the program. I learned the hard way, but you don't have to.

"Think before you speak" also means proofread. Be on the lookout for ambiguous content. If you're tired, stressed or feeling under the weather, you may have some trouble getting your point across. Maybe it's not the best time to communicate.

As a writer, I'm acutely aware of word choice. Use the wrong word, and WOOOPS- somebody is getting the total wrong idea. Copywriters have a chance to write multiple drafts ? and in that way, get multiple chances to refine what they say in their writing. Internet posters don't have this option. Once you hit POST, you can't take back what you've written. All you can do is send MORE posts, and give folks the impression that you are a babbling fool! So, for your own sake, heed my words, take your time, think about what you want to say, and PROOFREAD!

Above all, keep a positive attitude and an open mind. Welcome others' opinions while gently expressing your own. Be forgiving and patient with people and their bumbling ways. Be a good internet communicator.

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.

Dina Giolitto is a New-Jersey based Copywriting Consultant with ten years of industry experience. Her current focus is web content and web marketing for a multitude of products and services although the bulk of her experience lies in retail for big-name companies like Toys"R"Us. Visit http://www.wordfeeder.com for rates and samples.

---

Whats The Deal With Discussion Lists For Writers? (Part One)

Are they really free? Are they actually helpful? Why do writers subscribe to these lists? Why do people start lists for writers? While there's no definite answers to any of those questions, I... Read More

Forums - Why You Might Want One And How To Get One...

Several people have asked me about setting up a forum on their website recently, so I thought it might be helpful to cover this topic for the benefit of all my readers.But before... Read More

How to Build a Forum That Doesnt Fall Apart Two Months Later, Part 1

If you can get a big enough following from customer lists and newsletters you might want to start your own forum. But I always see people trying to start a forum and it... Read More

Dont Over Accesorize Your Forums; Give it Community Content

Have you been to those forums where when it opens up you are blasted off your seat by the stunning colors? Sure you have. We all have. There has been a trend by... Read More

The Demise of EZBoard

For years, EZBoard was a community that offered relatively cheap and easy to maintain forums for managers. Virtually anyone could register, design, and layout a site and invite their friends to participate. Indeed,... Read More

Forums ? Should You Have Them On Your Website?

Forums have become a common feature in many websites. With good free scripts available, and paid scripts being relatively cheap, it seems that every new website has its own forum(s). But is it... Read More

Using Forums to Promote Your Business

When is work not really work? When it's fun!Using online forums, also called message boards, can be a fun way to promote your business in a low key way.Benefits:You cultivate relationships with othersYou... Read More

Using Message Boards Properly

We all have our own reasons for joining message boards. Maybe its to meet some friends, or find some ideas for your business. Maybe you just needed a place to announce your party.... Read More

Five Tips to Launching a Successful Message Forum

Forums a.k.a. "message boards" can be great marketing tools for your website. They attract repeat visitors and provide a meeting place for them to share their thoughts, ideas, questions and concerns.Unfortunately many webmasters... Read More

5 Proven Techniques to Build a Profitable Web Forum

You may have heard that having a web community is a great way to increase sales, customer loyalty and word of mouth for your web business. In fact a web community itself, if... Read More

How to Sell Your Product on the Forums?

1. Your signature file:Most of the forums allow you to carry a 4 - 6 lines of signature files with your name. So these files appears below your name when you answer a... Read More

5 Reasons Why Participating in Forums can Benefit Your Business

Did you know that by simply participating in various forums and posting your various views and ideas, can potentially bring new growth and life to your online business?Let's look at some of the... Read More

How To Get Free Advertising By Participating In E-mail Discussion Lists

Posting messages to e-mail discussion lists is a great way to get free advertising. An e-mail discussion list is a group of people connected together via e-mail that can communicate with one another.... Read More

Some Quick Tips to Easily Improve the Success of Your Forum!

It is difficult to define a 'successful forum'. However, all forums deal with information and so the amount of information that is transferred across a forum is an indication of its success. The... Read More

How To Maximize Your Profits With Forums

Forums are one of the most effective free internet marketing strategies if done correctly. Many people participate in online forums for different reasons. Especially in internet marketing forums, they use it for getting... Read More

Marketing Via Messageboards & E-mail Discussion Lists - An Alternative View

One of the most suggested means of getting traffic to a site in the early stages is to get involved in messageboard and e-mail discussions on your topic of choice. The idea is... Read More

3 Reasons Why PHP Message Boards Rock

If you are web designer, chances are you include forums on at least some of the sites you manage. If you haven't explored PHPBB2 you are missing out as this type of message... Read More

Whats The Deal With Discussion Lists for Writers? (Part Two)

What Are the Advantages and/or Drawbacks of Subscribing to Discussion Lists? "I learn a lot about publishing houses, editors, etc., and we're like one big happy family," says Dotti Enderle, who belongs to... Read More

The Value of Forums

There are literally thousands of online forums that cover a wide range of topics. Forums provide individuals, who share a common interest, with a meeting place for open discussion, and a great gathering... Read More

Business Forums

Forums are a community where a group of webmasters can post a discussion on different topics, like running an online business, web promotion, marketing, web design, etc. You can post questions asking for... Read More

How to Market on Forums and Message Boards Without Upsetting Anyone

Believe it or not, you can market on forums and message boards without pissing anyone off. In fact, not only can you market this way, you SHOULD market this way, and I'll tell... Read More

Using Online Marketing Forums to Jumpstart Your Home Business

One of the most wonderful things that I have discovered about the network-marketing world during the past few months are online forums. These forums offer so much to enrich both your online working... Read More

Join A Songwriting Forum - Its A Good Idea!

If you are a songwriter looking to get "plugged-in" to where the action is, consider joining a songwriting forum. This is a great way to meet other songwriters, share your ideas, promote your... Read More

8 Tips for Starting and Maintaining a Successful Online Forum

Nothing promotes a business online better than staying in touch with prospects. The more interactive the continued contact, the more of a relationship that is built with a potential client.This business principle of... Read More

Search for Business Partners Effortlessly

With the internet revolution ushering in new modes of communication everyday, building contacts is no longer an arduous, time consuming job. In fact, if you are looking for effective and easy ways to... Read More

11 Ways To Increase Forums Activities

Getting people to post in your forum is probably the hardest thing to do. First, not all of your readers will post messages. In fact, only a small percentage will post regularly, and... Read More

Promoting in Online Forums

Forums can be a useful tool if you`re doing business online. You can learn a lot by reading the content and actively taking part in the discussions. Reading a forum's archives can be... Read More

Forums: What They Are And WHY Theyre Essential For Anyone Considering Starting An Online Business

Well... first off, let's define exactly what a Forum is so that you'll be able to relate to what I'm about to explain within this article.The simple definition of a Forum is... it's... Read More

5 Reasons You Should Market Online

If you've got a website you'll need to let the world know about it. This is called internet marketing. Believe me, it wasn't too long ago that I didn't know a single thing... Read More