Grief

I didn't know a heart could die
before it stopped beating.
I didn't know a life could cease
before it stopped breathing.

I didn't know how devastation
could wend a living soul
I didn't know how death could make
one lose all self control.

I didn't know the pain of loss
was so intense and sharp.
I didn't know the depth of void
death leaves within the heart.

I didn't know how often tears
would redden hurting eyes.
I didn't know how hard it was
to say one's last good-bye's.

I didn't know that pain would come
and go as it well pleased.
I didn't know that joy is scarce
to those who are bereaved.

I didn't know that time would stop
and meaning cease to be.
I didn't know that friends would pray
but shy away from me.

I didn't know how difficult
to get the whole night through.
I didn't know the strength it took
for simple tasks to do.

I didn't know that as time pass
slowly, the pain subsides.
I didn't know what I thought was lost
still in my heart resides.

Now I know a little spark,
somehow in me remained.
Now I know that someway,
my life will be sustained.

Now I know the feelings felt,
were all a part of grief.
Now I know how fervent prayer
helped me to find relief.

So rest assured my unknown friends,
though healing comes real slow.
It actually does get better
for now, I truly know.

Yes I survived my loved one death
that occurred this time last year.
I feel the loss and always will
but the pain's much less severe.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.

---

Sympathy Flowers

Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and... Read More

Tenderizing

Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate letter that was so full of venom and hostility, it gave me shivers. The ultra-religious lady who wrote it is young and passionate... Read More

Terminal Illness- Death and Grief

No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis.... Read More

Understanding Grief and Loss in Times of War and Disaster

There are many different kinds of losses we can experience in our lives. Indeed, loss in human beings has its beginnings in the birth process that separates the infant from the comfort and... Read More

When The Spirit Leaves The Body

Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I'm talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside... Read More

How to Deal with Suffering

Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for those who are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a... Read More

Why Dont We Talk About Anticipatory Grief?

I know anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs - far too well. My mother suffered from probable Alzheimer's disease and I was her caregiver for... Read More

Miracles?

If we were to organize a list of the thorniest problems for the bereaved, certainly somewhere near the top would be the question of miracles. Everybody has heard anecdotal stories of certain people... Read More

Grief

If you have ever lost someone dear to you it is likely that you can still summon up the grief that you may still be carrying deep inside yourself as a result of... Read More

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. He had red hair, freckles, and a huge smile. Justin was a great kid and everybody loved him.... Read More

Coping with Grief - Its Called Living Through It

"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead." "Grandpa died yesterday." "Oh my God, Daddy's dead." "Uncle Jack died today." "Grandma died last night." "I'm standing with... Read More

Grief & Loss - Healing Your Broken Heart

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we... Read More

Pet Loss: Significant and Profound Loss or Much Ado about Nothing?

For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal companions, the answer is obvious and yet disturbing. There are still far too many people in our culture who minimize and trivialize the... Read More

Pope John Paul II

WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am not a Catholic, but I felt a deep loss when Pope John Paul II took ill and then died. That's what happens to... Read More

Suicide in the Church Part 2

In a town the size of mine - about 16,000 - can a few suicides within a 90-day period be considered an epidemic? I'd say so. Quite a few Christians have contacted me... Read More

Angelo Dies

Angelo C, was a good man that never did any harm. He died yesterday in the shower over a severe asthma attack. The entire school cried and prayed for their old friend Angelo.... Read More

The Twists and Turns of Life

When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. We lived in an apartment until my sister and I were... Read More

What this Rabbi Learned from Not being Re-hired

It's a familiar story, and I have been through it before, and so have you. In January the Synagogue Personnel Committee told me that they were recommending that the synagogue not renew my... Read More

Grief Masks

October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me think of masks, and masks remind me that sometimes when we're grieving, we wear masks without even realizing it. We may never stop... Read More

How To Write A Eulogy

Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given... Read More

Trial by Fire - 9 Tips for Grieving Couples

You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer... Read More

Suicide - An Eternal Pain

Suicide is the one form of death that has quite a stigma attached to it. It brings with it a feeling of shame and betrayal. It is not the same as saying to... Read More

Death Poem

During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to... Read More

The Creative Side of Healing

One of the areas where I seem to be placing most of my focus these days is the relationship between creative expression and healing. Something that I have always found to be particularly... Read More

The Lesson of a Mothers Death

Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25, 2005The Passing of the TorchShe lies in peaceful repose on her back with her hands, one atop the other, gently resting on her... Read More

And You Always Will

I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course."What did Mom DO with them?" I wondered aloud.I... Read More

Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief

The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. It is also true that the recently bereaved and the about to be bereaved evidence the same... Read More

Sympathy Messages

The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. A floral tribute and supportive message can... Read More

Dealing With Grief and Loss - How to Mend a Broken Heart

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we... Read More