|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. A cold mother, an absent father, being different in any way from our peers and ostracized for it - these are some of the reasons for the early feeling that something is wrong, inadequate and utterly disappointing about us. For others, it happens later, when a spouse betrays our love and trust, a child is hurt, or our dream of making it big in the world is shattered.
It happens -sooner or later- to everybody, yet strangely enough, we tend to believe that other people have heaps of money, great careers, excellent health, and are blessed with devoted spouses and perfect children. Even if common sense tells us that this isn't true, we behave as if it were. We hide behind our painted faces and empty phrases, as if our wounded heart was a rare, shameful thing that had to be hidden at all costs. Even if we are the light of every party, our real self never shows up. We withdraw and disconnect while telling pretty lies in appearance, word and deed. Thus our hearts shrink and harden, and we live lonesome, inauthentic lives deep within the fortress we have built from pride and fear.
From this point on, two things can happen: either we become depressed or cynical enough to believe that staying in this barren place and turning into dust is our only option, or we listen to the cries of our exiled hearts and become seekers. If you belonged to the first group, you would not be reading this book. So let's start the search for our true selves. In the following imaginative exercise, you will begin to restore the lost connection to your heart. You may feel some resistance reading these words. Won't this lead to an emotional breakdown, or to an eruption of pain and anger? It depends on your intention.
If you want to explore your childhood or other severe emotional trauma, there are medical and psychological professionals who are trained to guide you through that sensitive process.
What we want to achieve here is to find and free our spiritual hearts. There is the heart, and there is the true heart. There is our "pink" heart, and there is our "golden" heart. There is our low heart, and there is our high heart.
Qualities of the low heart: Passion, Extremes, Volatility, Attachment, Emotion.
Qualities of the high heart: Compassion, Balance, Patience, Unity, Spirit, Soul.
Again, our intention is to connect to the high, the spiritual heart. This may happen instantly, at the first try. If it does, it is a profound, awe-inspiring experience, and you will recognize the level of truth instantly. You will realize that there is, behind your physically sick or emotionally broken heart, a heart that is completely whole and strong and wise. However, establishing this pathway could be a much longer process. You might connect to "pieces" of your heart at a time. Perhaps you will first experience an acute awareness of your heart's imprisonment, or your inner space may remain silent for a while. Take it easy. Whatever happens is just the right thing to happen for you at this point.
EXERCISE: LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Sit or lie down comfortably, making sure you will not be disturbed. Close your eyes. Breathe. Relax. If relaxation does not come easily to you, visualize a thick, golden liquid pooling in your head. Slowly, slowly, like molasses, it flows down into your whole body, making it slack and heavy.
When you feel relaxed, shift your attention to your chest. Imagine breathing through your chest. In-out. In-out. In-out. Do this as long as you want to. When you are ready, focus your attention gently on your heart.
Your high heart, your true heart, your spiritual heart.
Now, and possibly for the first time, greet your true heart. Express your gratitude for its continuous, life giving service, its protection and guidance.
When you have established a connection, you might want to ask questions. Then be quiet and listen.
Listen to the voice of your heart. This voice might express itself in words, in feelings, in images, in sounds, or just as a "knowing". Learning to recognize the unique voice of your heart may take time, so relax if you can't "get it right" at first.
About The Author
Carna Zacharias was born in Germany, where more than ten books written by her have been published: novels, young-adult books, and non-fiction. In addition she worked as a literary critic at a daily newspaper, as a book editor, and for public television. After studying literature and philosophy at the university, she has been exploring Jungian psychology, mythology, fairy tales, Shamanism and other spiritual topics for years.




For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay? until something major happens to... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding of one true self and happiness. As however destined, all journeys will eventually find its very own destination and it is inevitable that... Read More
Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She has been given less than six months to live as the cancer has fully permeated her liver and... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest... Read More
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given... Read More
Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When Arlyn died, I knew I would never laugh again. After all, my child had taken her own life; she had died by suicide.How... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing most of my focus these days is the relationship between creative expression and healing. Something that I have always found to be particularly... Read More
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own hometown of about 16,000 people. The latest of these involved a friend of mine who was, among other things, the leader of a... Read More
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.On... Read More
I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy: As though time were a flower waiting to bloom. My scruffy puppy-happy senior dog knows better. Watching his tail wag as he stands... Read More
I didn't know a heart could die before it stopped beating. I didn't know a life could cease before it stopped breathing.I didn't know how devastation could wend a living soul I didn't... Read More
The delight lit my face as the couple turned the corner into the hallway where we stood in lively conversation. I threw my arms open wide, ignored the cell phones plastered to their... Read More
When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. We lived in an apartment until my sister and I were... Read More
October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me think of masks, and masks remind me that sometimes when we're grieving, we wear masks without even realizing it. We may never stop... Read More
Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and... Read More
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His... Read More
Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25, 2005The Passing of the TorchShe lies in peaceful repose on her back with her hands, one atop the other, gently resting on her... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others,... Read More
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you... Read More
Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Other times, it simply smiles in humbled reservation. But the... Read More
Over one hundred years ago, during the Victorian era, death and grief were popular subjects for poems, songs and stories. Grieving was considered a natural and acceptable part of the culture. People in... Read More
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I... Read More
I am 23 years old. I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (6 and 7), and 3 sisters (2months, 17, and 21). We are a very close famly, but I... Read More
Why We Fear Death"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark." - BaconThere may be a thousand reasons why we fear death, but most of all we fear death because... Read More
The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to imagine oneself in anther's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th... Read More
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes... Read More
All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes... Read More
I am an Angel artist and several weeks ago while listening to the late night news, a news story came on that really touched my heart. On the way home in the wedding... Read More
1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for... Read More
September 11, 2001, marked yet another significant turning point in world history. Whatever innocence was left in the world was lost on that fateful day.On lesser numeric scales, equally heinous crimes are committed... Read More
The delight lit my face as the couple turned the corner into the hallway where we stood in lively conversation. I threw my arms open wide, ignored the cell phones plastered to their... Read More
Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in High School? Death is a tough subject to broach, and many would rather deny death then embrace it. Someone once said, "...There are... Read More
Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my Mother. She finally had lost her long... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding of one true self and happiness. As however destined, all journeys will eventually find its very own destination and it is inevitable that... Read More
Overcoming death and beginning once again to live is the one thing that we never anticipate can happen after we have experienced death. The truth is however, that whether we like it or... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Other times, it simply smiles in humbled reservation. But the... Read More
For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay? until something major happens to... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved people, one of the most frequent questions I have been asked is, "Who has the worst pain?" Do bereaved parents suffer more than... Read More
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course."What did Mom DO with them?" I wondered aloud.I... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing most of my focus these days is the relationship between creative expression and healing. Something that I have always found to be particularly... Read More
During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is hard to know what to say or how to show your support. When you want to provide comfort and support and show your... Read More
Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over the globe had more educational advantages or more opportunities to practice advanced social and interpersonal skills. And yet, for the most part, we... Read More
New Tears [about Grieving]If it rains or shinesLittle does it matter so? Days, like tear drops-Slip and slide, and go.I sit looking out my windowLittle do I want to say-? Goodbye and close... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace." ~ Bob OlsonIn approximately... Read More
It is one thing to be free; it is quite another to be liberated. Liberation implies that freedom was absent for a time, and there was bondage. Though it may seem like a... Read More
Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and confusing for most people. Unresolved issues come to the fore and questions we have not answered must often be confronted. Along with a... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. "For women who... Read More
It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. I was in shock. I was crying hysterically. But it was really just a phone call. My dad... Read More
Memories are never to be buried along with the loss of our very loved ones. To be forever remembered as someone whom we always love, they always should be.However sadly to be saying,... Read More
Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivorThirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. Killed when the Mack Truck Lear jet he... Read More
In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On Death and Dying and later went on to launch the Hospice movement in America. Even though her studies focused more on those who... Read More
Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to... Read More
Justin was a typical ten year old boy. He liked Leggos, trains, and watching TV. He had red hair, freckles, and a huge smile. Justin was a great kid and everybody loved him.... Read More
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to... Read More
We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. A cold mother, an absent father,... Read More
| GOOGLE AD |
Dealing with Grief & LossDealing with Grief & Loss |