|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack. Burial: Not today, please. Of all the subjects I could write about, this one is my least favorite. It, in fact, could easily send me into the mother of all anxiety fits. Nevertheless, it is necessary to visit the subject since I now live in another country.
Death is a topic that I managed to avoid most of my life until January 2003, when my mother passed away. No more than seven months later, my youngest brother died of undetermined causes. Easter Sunday 2004, my best friend died of kidney cancer.
Was God trying to tell me something?
So, here I am, living in Guanajuato, Mexico, with my wife and I have no "arrangements" in the event of my demise. Maybe God was trying to tell me to wake up and smell the tacos.
Therefore, I decided to investigate this. After all, what if something happened to me and left my wife as a survivor? What would or could she do? I did not want to leave her holding the bag (or coffin), so to speak. How horrible would that be?
Therefore, I did what any red-blooded American would do-I called our lawyer.
Our Mexican lawyer is not only our abogado but also our friend. His name is Jesus but is called "Chucho". Don't ask me to explain this because I haven't the answer. His son, who is also Jesus, is called "Chuchin". They don't use "junior". Again, I cannot explain this.
Anyway, here is what Chucho told us:
a) Just as in the U.S.A., you can contact the services of a funeral home that will offer you several packages for burial or cremation. This makes sense.
b) Depending on your immigration status, you can make a statement of "arrangement" (I am translating this from Chucho's Spanish so bear with me). In other words, you will make a sworn statement regarding your "arrangements" in front of a "Notario P?blico". This is not the same as a Notary Public in the United States. This is more like a legal representative-not a lawyer but close.
c) Leave precise instruction with your Mexican bank. When we opened our bank account in Mexico, we not only had to designate a beneficiary but we also took out an insurance policy that covered death, accidents, and dismemberment (Can you see why I hate talking about this?-sheesh!).
Now, that's what Chucho said and, if I am getting the translation right, then I hope this helps. If it doesn't then here is more morbid prose you can read.
According to the U.S. Embassy in Mexico's website, "When a U.S. citizen dies abroad, the Embassy can notify the family at home and provide information about the options and costs of disposition of the remains. Costs for preparing and returning the remains from Mexico City to the U.S. are high and the family must pay all costs. The Embassy also prepares a Report of Death based on the local death certificate. This Report can be used as proof of death in most legal proceedings in the United States."
What we plan to do is, well, die in Mexico. Why spend a small fortune that could conceivably be enough to wipe out the national debt of Guatemala in sending our remains to America? The insurance that we have with our bank will cover the costs of a Mexican funeral and cremation (our preference-it's cheaper!).
The point is don't wait until something happens. Make arrangements as soon as you expatriate to Mexico. Call a local lawyer and get this little unpleasantness taken care of and then you can go into total denial (as I do) that anything will ever happen to you.
My next phone call will be to a local shrink.
Expatriates Doug and Cindi Bower have successfully expatriated to Mexico, learning through trial and error how to do it from the conception of the initial idea to driving up to their new home in another country. Now the potential expatriate can benefit from their more than three years of pre-expat research to their more than two years of actually living in Mexico. The Plain Truth about Living in Mexico answers the potential expatriate's questions by leading them through the process from the beginning to the end. In this comprehensive guide, you will learn not only how-to expatriate but will learn what to expect, in daily life, before coming to Mexico. BUY BOOK HERE: http://www.universal -publishers.com/book.php?method=ISBN&book=1581124570



Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given... Read More
Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for those who are most concerned about this topic.QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING1- If there is a... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others,... Read More
I got an email recently from someone whose mother died. She knew I'd suffered the loss of my mother and wanted some insight on how to deal with it. Unfortunately for her, I... Read More
If we were to organize a list of the thorniest problems for the bereaved, certainly somewhere near the top would be the question of miracles. Everybody has heard anecdotal stories of certain people... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. "For women who... Read More
When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. We lived in an apartment until my sister and I were... Read More
I am 23 years old. I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (6 and 7), and 3 sisters (2months, 17, and 21). We are a very close famly, but I... Read More
I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy: As though time were a flower waiting to bloom. My scruffy puppy-happy senior dog knows better. Watching his tail wag as he stands... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding of one true self and happiness. As however destined, all journeys will eventually find its very own destination and it is inevitable that... Read More
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His... Read More
New Tears [about Grieving]If it rains or shinesLittle does it matter so? Days, like tear drops-Slip and slide, and go.I sit looking out my windowLittle do I want to say-? Goodbye and close... Read More
The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. A floral tribute and supportive message can... Read More
Never, since man has walked upright, have people all over the globe had more educational advantages or more opportunities to practice advanced social and interpersonal skills. And yet, for the most part, we... Read More
You will often hear that grief and loss bring couples together, but it can actually do just the opposite. It is possible to emerge on the other side of grief with a closer... Read More
Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who... Read More
I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what... Read More
Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When Arlyn died, I knew I would never laugh again. After all, my child had taken her own life; she had died by suicide.How... Read More
There are many experiences in life, which remind us that change is an inevitable part of living. We then have to choose to either to resist this process or look for new ways... Read More
Have you ever sat down and played a piano where one of the keys wasn't working? Or made cookies and left out an ingredient? Perhaps you've started listening to a favorite CD, and... Read More
WHAT I LEARNED FROM POPE JOHN PAUL II ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am not a Catholic, but I felt a deep loss when Pope John Paul II took ill and then died. That's what happens to... Read More
There is only one place where tragedy occurs, and that is in the mind. Tragedy may appear to you on the physical level, however, it is the enormous power of your mind that... Read More
The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. It is also true that the recently bereaved and the about to be bereaved evidence the same... Read More
All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes... Read More
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.On... Read More
Guilty, Your Honor, I whisper.Have you ever done anything so horrible that you would prefer to hide in a dark closet for the rest of your life than have someone find out you... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved people, one of the most frequent questions I have been asked is, "Who has the worst pain?" Do bereaved parents suffer more than... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves... Read More
Although many of us carry some form of emotional trauma in our bodies, and therefore in our energy fields, do we ever really stop to question the impact that it is having on... Read More
As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. A... Read More
The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be... Read More
Suicide is a nightmare for survivors of loved ones. Death in itself is hard to cope with but when someone you love intentionally takes their life, this pain is somehow multiplied many times... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Other times, it simply smiles in humbled reservation. But the... Read More
All of us at one time or another have felt grief: perhaps over a lost job, lost love, or the most heartbreaking, the death of someone we loved dearly. Each of us goes... Read More
Overcoming death and beginning once again to live is the one thing that we never anticipate can happen after we have experienced death. The truth is however, that whether we like it or... Read More
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I... Read More
"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead." "Grandpa died yesterday." "Oh my God, Daddy's dead." "Uncle Jack died today." "Grandma died last night." "I'm standing with... Read More
We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. A cold mother, an absent father,... Read More
October makes me think of Halloween, and Halloween makes me think of masks, and masks remind me that sometimes when we're grieving, we wear masks without even realizing it. We may never stop... Read More
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given... Read More
Remember the Eulogy projects we had to write back in High School? Death is a tough subject to broach, and many would rather deny death then embrace it. Someone once said, "...There are... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get a few things to take with me. I was preparing to drive about three miles out into the country, to Woodhaven Road.I stood... Read More
Suicide strikes...AGAIN!This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others,... Read More
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we... Read More
Why We Fear Death"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark." - BaconThere may be a thousand reasons why we fear death, but most of all we fear death because... Read More
During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to... Read More
When I was born in 1962 I thought life was good. I had two parents, a twin sister, and an older brother. We lived in an apartment until my sister and I were... Read More
Dedicated to my mother, FlorenceNovember 11, 1920 ? May 25, 2005The Passing of the TorchShe lies in peaceful repose on her back with her hands, one atop the other, gently resting on her... Read More
There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using... Read More
In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On Death and Dying and later went on to launch the Hospice movement in America. Even though her studies focused more on those who... Read More
When a friend or loved one is grieving, it is hard to know what to say or how to show your support. When you want to provide comfort and support and show your... Read More
Death: No thank you. Dying: Gives me a panic attack. Burial: Not today, please. Of all the subjects I could write about, this one is my least favorite. It, in fact, could easily... Read More
Over the years, I've heard many people voice their concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would cause them to die any time soon, but they were... Read More
Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to... Read More
Life has always been a journey, a journey of finding of one true self and happiness. As however destined, all journeys will eventually find its very own destination and it is inevitable that... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. "For women who... Read More
When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know... Read More
| GOOGLE AD |
Dealing with Grief & LossDealing with Grief & Loss |