|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own hometown of about 16,000 people. The latest of these involved a friend of mine who was, among other things, the leader of a Christian Business Fellowship which I attend. He was a lawyer with a terrific wife, two young kids, very prominent in his church, coached little league baseball. As one can imagine, speculations abound - everything from possible chemical imbalances to unfair, unfounded comments which...well, small town gossip can be so mean-spirited.
These local suicides also have Christians from various camps wondering and discussing what happens after a Christian commits suicide. Some eMails I've received on this subject have included words like "unsettling", "confused" and "disturbing." Since we are the Body of Christ, "a body fitly joined," as Scripture declares, when something happens here, it's happening there. If it hasn't hit your community square in the face just yet, chances are it will.
I'm reminded of the theme song from the TV series "M.A.S.H." It was called "Suicide is painless."
No, it's not. It hurts a lot.
It's hurting me.
Personally, I was raised believing that a Christian who killed themselves received a quick ticket to hell. The concept being that, since murderers would burn in hell, what was suicide but self-murder with absolutely no time for repentance?
Apparently, "Thou shalt not kill" referred even to the killing of oneself. This concept now strikes me as quite silly, for all sins...murder, suicide, gossip, slander, rage, infidelity...are all forgivable by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. By and large, that's pretty standard Christian fare, right? To say otherwise is to imply that the crucifixion had no effect on some particular sins. As my own relationship with God has developed, I am now convinced that, as the Apostle Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, "Nothing can separate us from the love of God." The Greek word for 'nothing' can best be defined as ...well, NOTHING!
I found a half dozen cases of suicide in the Bible and the Good Book does not appear to condemn the act. The most notorious accounts were those of King Saul (1 Sam. 31:2-5) and Judas Iscariot (Matt. 27:3-5). Others are Abimelech (Judges 9:50-54), who ordered his armor-bearer to kill him, Samson (Judges 16:23-31), Ahithophel (2 Sam. 17:23), and Zimri (1 Kings 16:15-20). Even Elijah despaired of his own life (1 Kings 18:40; 19:4) and Job's wife told him he'd be better off killing himself (Job 2:7-9).
Far as I can tell, none of these people who went through with it were explicitly condemned for taking his own life.
Most people who take their own lives are not usually cool and rational about it. I doubt many set out to flout the will of God. I've read that 500,000 Americans attempt suicide annually! I must believe that they are not so much choosing death as they are stumbling down into it from a steep slope of despair. Every 17 minutes someone in America commits suicide. This is the third-leading cause of death among people 15 to 25 years old, college students for the greater part. Even more tragically, among children between 5 and 14 years of age, suicide is the sixth most common cause of death.
Something's VERY wrong.
People are hurting everywhere. we know this because, after all, hurting people are hurting people everywhere we turn. People need help. Maybe someone you know of, someone who puts up a pretty good front at work or even at Church, or even in your home, needs something more than a handshake or a pat on the back.
Love, after all, is spelled T-I-M-E.
So, give someone your attention today. Ask "How are you?" and pause, look them in the eye and await their response. Say their names in conversation and drop them an encouraging eMail. Every one of us is a potential lifesaver. As life guards are taught to handle drowning victims, let them kick and scream and thrash about, but let's all try and be there when they decide they just can't swim another stroke.
Please write team1min@aol.com and request Suicide parts 2 & 3
FORWARD the messages!
Pastor Michael has been broadcasting messages of Discipleship & Encouragement to the Body of Christ by email since 1999. Since then these messages have been published on numerous other sites, reprinted in paper newsletters belonging to other ministries, have been used as a source of teaching and preaching by ministers and Bible teachers worldwide, and have ministered to the Body of Christ of nearly every major denomination.

Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get a few things to take with me. I was preparing to drive about three miles out into the country, to Woodhaven Road.I stood... Read More
Have you ever sat down and played a piano where one of the keys wasn't working? Or made cookies and left out an ingredient? Perhaps you've started listening to a favorite CD, and... Read More
There are many different kinds of losses we can experience in our lives. Indeed, loss in human beings has its beginnings in the birth process that separates the infant from the comfort and... Read More
Earlier this month I learned a dear friend had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She has been given less than six months to live as the cancer has fully permeated her liver and... Read More
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we... Read More
1) Don't try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for... Read More
Have you ever lost the ability to laugh? I did.When Arlyn died, I knew I would never laugh again. After all, my child had taken her own life; she had died by suicide.How... Read More
Too many people are dying alone?The dying are one of society's most unrecognized and under-served groups. As individuals near the end of life they are often ignored, discounted, misunderstood and forgotten.We are doing... Read More
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.On... Read More
It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. I was in shock. I was crying hysterically. But it was really just a phone call. My dad... Read More
Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy, regardless of how old you are when that loss occurs. For children who lose a parent, however, the effects can be devastating,... Read More
My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His... Read More
Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves... Read More
The following is a report that indicates how you might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very complex issue, and it might be... Read More
With my father, his brother and their father having had late onset Alzheimer's I can't help but wonder if someday it will be my fate. This is what I have told my family.If... Read More
Do you spend most of your time inside or outside of your body? If you know what I'm talking about then I can almost certainly say that you have spent some time outside... Read More
The Encyclopaedia Britannica (1999 edition) defines empathy as:"The ability to imagine oneself in anther's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas, and actions. It is a term coined in the early 20th... Read More
Helpers often ask questions such as: "What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?" Here are some suggestions for how to... Read More
The question of whether, say, a man should have the right to take away his life granted pain and suffering have overcome him is a very important question today. A different way of... Read More
("He" in this text - to mean "He" or "She").We react to serious mishaps, life altering setbacks, disasters, abuse, and death by going through the phases of grieving. Traumas are the complex outcomes... Read More
Everyday, I look in the mirror to see the face staring back at me. Sometimes it is lined with stress, sorrow and grief. Other times, it simply smiles in humbled reservation. But the... Read More
The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. A floral tribute and supportive message can... Read More
"Dad, I tried to wake Nana, I think she's dead." "Grandpa died yesterday." "Oh my God, Daddy's dead." "Uncle Jack died today." "Grandma died last night." "I'm standing with... Read More
It was a moment I will never forget.On February 22, 2003, I was visiting with my son Brian Michael (http://www.BrianMichaelGuthrie.com) at his home in North Carolina, where I had been since... Read More
There is only one place where tragedy occurs, and that is in the mind. Tragedy may appear to you on the physical level, however, it is the enormous power of your mind that... Read More
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to... Read More
There are many experiences in life, which remind us that change is an inevitable part of living. We then have to choose to either to resist this process or look for new ways... Read More
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.The brand new towels still weren't there, of course."What did Mom DO with them?" I wondered aloud.I... Read More
It's a familiar story, and I have been through it before, and so have you. In January the Synagogue Personnel Committee told me that they were recommending that the synagogue not renew my... Read More
For most people life is a fairly ordinary existence - and when I say ordinary I mean a contented, 'far from perfect' way of life. And that's okay? until something major happens to... Read More
Are you spending this Mother's Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. "For women who... Read More
We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable. A cold mother, an absent father,... Read More
I know anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs - far too well. My mother suffered from probable Alzheimer's disease and I was her caregiver for... Read More
If tears are an indication of how special my relationship with my mother was, I cry with pride! I've come to see grief as pain with a purpose. Interestingly enough, as I cared... Read More
One of the areas where I seem to be placing most of my focus these days is the relationship between creative expression and healing. Something that I have always found to be particularly... Read More
My dearest Grandma, I will never forget you & sorry that I was not there with you when you passed.Grandma...I can't believe The last kiss, The last "goodbye" was yesterday... Your death was... Read More
Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given... Read More
Angelo C, was a good man that never did any harm. He died yesterday in the shower over a severe asthma attack. The entire school cried and prayed for their old friend Angelo.... Read More
Let's talk about Terry Schiavo, since her death illustrated for me many aspects of grief and hope. Who among us was not moved by the drama of her last days? I know I... Read More
Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and I decided to attend a support group program run by the local Hospice organization. We felt lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperately needed to... Read More
With my father, his brother and their father having had late onset Alzheimer's I can't help but wonder if someday it will be my fate. This is what I have told my family.If... Read More
I was with my daddy when he died. Excuse me, I was with my daddy when his spirit left his body. I drove him to the emergency room because he was having chest... Read More
The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. A floral tribute and supportive message can... Read More
Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who... Read More
Shortly after noon, I went into Arlyn's bedroom to get a few things to take with me. I was preparing to drive about three miles out into the country, to Woodhaven Road.I stood... Read More
In 1969, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross published her famous book; On Death and Dying and later went on to launch the Hospice movement in America. Even though her studies focused more on those who... Read More
Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate letter that was so full of venom and hostility, it gave me shivers. The ultra-religious lady who wrote it is young and passionate... Read More
As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. A... Read More
For those who have deeply loved and lost their animal companions, the answer is obvious and yet disturbing. There are still far too many people in our culture who minimize and trivialize the... Read More
I've always waited for the perfect moment to be happy: As though time were a flower waiting to bloom. My scruffy puppy-happy senior dog knows better. Watching his tail wag as he stands... Read More
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace." ~ Bob OlsonIn approximately... Read More
September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to... Read More
Suicide is the one form of death that has quite a stigma attached to it. It brings with it a feeling of shame and betrayal. It is not the same as saying to... Read More
Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should Be Over You. He sings, How long does it take to mend a broken heart? After the heartache and tears, lonely and hurting,... Read More
During the 28 years I have been interacting with bereaved people, one of the most frequent questions I have been asked is, "Who has the worst pain?" Do bereaved parents suffer more than... Read More
It's a familiar story, and I have been through it before, and so have you. In January the Synagogue Personnel Committee told me that they were recommending that the synagogue not renew my... Read More
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we... Read More
Few of us care to think about the inevitability of our own demise. We except that we are not immortal, however for the most part, we are successful in putting thoughts of our... Read More
| GOOGLE AD |
Dealing with Grief & LossDealing with Grief & Loss |