Silver Linings Are Everywhere

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's face it; there is little that has been derided more than Viagra. On the talk shows, it has been the butt of more jokes than Michael Jackson and Saddam Hussein combined. For example:

(OK, OK. I admit I was going to share an example or two, but I couldn't find any clean enough to pass my censor's well-trained eyes.)

Of course, if you are not laughing yet from the jokes you could imagine I might have told, it may be because you are so fed up of receiving offers for Viagra in your email inbox, right up there with the prospect of enhancing body parts you didn't even know you owned. In fact, you may even be convinced that spam was invented just to deliver the Viagra industry's message to your personal desktop.

Can anything good come from Viagra?

As a matter of fact, yes. Scientists have actually found a benefit from Viagra (No, I am not talking about experimenting in their labs.) Apparently Viagra is good for the environment.

It took a lot of work and several failed attempts to reach this conclusion. First, the scientists tried to use Viagra as an additive to revive lakes that were dying from acid rain. Unfortunately, it raised the lake's body temperature and fried the fish.

Then they tried using Viagra to replace polluting dry cleaner chemicals, but clothes came back too rigid to wear: "Hey, how come my fleece isn't soft anymore?" "I thought I told you not to starch my collars." "Ouch!"

The researchers tried feeding Viagra to swine, cattle, and chickens, hoping to replace feed sources that now consume vast areas of land. However, the farm animals wouldn't touch the stuff. The cockroaches, however, found it energizing, and before long there were very few barns left.

Next they decided to see if Viagra could be used as a low-polluting fuel to heat homes in the winter. That option looked promising ... until airplanes started hitting the rising chimney stacks. Oops.

Then the scientists tried offering Viagra to all the taxi drivers who insisted on idling their polluting engines between fares. Unfortunately, it seems that most cab drivers preferred idling to anything Viagra could do for them (which may explain the way they drive.)

Finally, the researchers have discovered that Viagra can save endangered species. This is no joke ? check the wire services on the Internet. In fact, a paper published recently by researchers at the University of Alaska and the University of New South Wales reveals that the trade in exotic body parts used as aphrodisiacs has fallen dramatically since Viagra hit the market.

Rhinos love this, because poachers had made them almost extinct, killing them for the horn, so sought-after by the lovelorn, and leaving the carcass behind. Reindeer feel more secure about their antlers now, too, since the velvet coverings are in less demand. And you may already have noticed fewer seals walking around town with their legs crossed, as the price for their private parts has fallen 72 percent.

Others who are thrilled about this great scientific discovery include sea horses, pipefish, elk and the ever beloved sea cucumber. I am still not sure whether that last one is a joke.

So, is Viagra the butt of countless jokes or the scourge of the Internet? If you look for silver linings, it is neither. It is the savior of endangered species. Now that I've helped clear that up for you, what else do you deride? What else upsets you? Can you find a silver lining? I'm sure you can. If Viagra is a good thing, can there be anything bad?

About The Author

David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy, author of "Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html. Visit him at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com.

info@thehappyguy.com

---

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. I really wanted to hit him in the face when he asked that. I didn?t do that.... Read More

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that... Read More

Space, and the Room for It

Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and... Read More

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. My family has usually always had at least one cat among us... Read More

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to... Read More

Health Club Regulars ?- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym

One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark A LOT. So, whattya gonna do about it? Well, if you're Amber and Terry, you're going to do NOTHING about it. Ain't nobody... Read More

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one. But a little comic relief laughing at ourselves... Read More

When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan

It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear... Read More

Slip-sliding On A Peel

Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a... Read More

Computers According to Carol

A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.C is for Caddy: part of computer that holds a coffee cup.D is... Read More

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise

While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is... Read More

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward

Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show... Read More

Sell [Your] Phones

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn't help... Read More

Bed Bugs Bite

I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regarding when -- and perhaps where -- people are turning on the news. Sometimes it is a... Read More

Pee Here Now

Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen... Read More

Tales of a Spectator Spectator

Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups... Read More

Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!

With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic and shaman would give you the answers to all life's mysteries... for up to 9.95 per minute.Turns out, Miss Cleo was not born... Read More

The Zapp Principle

My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred mess, covered with extinguisher gloop. Abdul the camel seemed happy enough though, despite... Read More

Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe

My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard. Let me rephrase. She thinks she found a human bone. They were putting up a fence in their backyard. They've been digging and... Read More

American Independence ? The True Story

It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of coffee?" he asks. "I just roasted the latest batch.""Yes. Coffee sounds great.""How do you take it?" he asks as he grinds... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least Make Sure they're a Good Money Manager!! ha,ha!)Here are some little tips so you can at least spot a wealthy (or soon-to-be-wealthy) guy:1.... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05

Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Can you explain it? -- Sport WatcherThis game begins with the entrance of referees, people... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world. A general guideline... Read More

If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?

IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee, or got your kids fed, If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house, While others... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not... Read More