How To Develop A Grateful Mind (The Best Medicine)

There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty and opens the way for your greatest good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm. Obstacles evaporate and wonderful possibilities appear. This medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects, can be taken in large or small doses regularly. You need no one to prescribe it and the more you take, the sweeter it is. The medicine is a good dose of gratitude, taken daily, at least three times a day.

or example, if you are having difficulty in your relationships, a strong dose of gratitude will help a lot. Depression and thankfulness cannot exist in the same mind at the same time. When you are continually aware of the good you are receiving, complaints, resentments and demands become a thing of the past.

Guests At A Banquet

Some would say that this world is like a banquet in which we are guests. However, instead of thoroughly enjoying the feast, we only focus upon what is wrong ? we become upset that the meal will not last forever, criticize the cook, demand one dish and refuse all others, or enjoy only desert.

any spend their time rejecting other guests, or pushing them around. Some refuse to eat the meal entirely and go to the corner to pout. Most have no idea who their host is, or why they've even been invited. They rarely think of offering thanks.

In order to live with joy and well-being, however, it is crucial to develop a grateful mind. Here are some simple steps to take. Each step is the best medicine.

Step 1: View Your Life As A Banquet ? Enjoy The Feast

Realize that we have all been invited to this banquet to develop a grateful mind. We must learn to partake of all we are offered, discover why we've been invited, and most importantly, offer thanks.

Step 2: Realize Each Person At The Banquet Is Precious

Each person at this banquet is precious and has been invited for a reason. There is something unique that each guest has to bring, including you. Find out what it is. Enjoy each person fully. If you do not know what to be grateful for, the question to ask is - what am I focusing on right now? Where is my attention?

Are you focusing upon all the problems and complaints, or are you aware of the endless gifts you receive? By taking your attention off the negative aspects of the relationship, you take energy and power away from these complaints and become open to see the good that available. As you take charge of your focus you take charge of your life.

Step 3: Take Time To Notice And Appreciate What You Are Receiving

Take time to notice and fully appreciate what is before you. Stop taking life for granted. As we develop a mind that is aware of the gifts it is receiving, the ability to give back grows naturally.

Step 4: Direct Communication

So many relationships flounder due to the feeling that individuals are not getting what they want. In many cases their partners have no idea what this is, or how to make them happy. A wonderful way to deal with this is to ask directly for what you want. Ask without criticism or a hidden demand. It is also crucial to be able to say no. Saying no is not rejection. At times, saying no to others, is a way of saying yes to yourself.

Step 5: Understand True Giving

When you give to receive something in return, this is not true giving. Some give to hold onto others, or to feel good about themselves. True giving asks nothing in return. It gives openly, no strings attached.

True giving and receiving are one. When we give fully without wanting anything in return, we receive as much as we give. Burden, resentment and clinging falls away. There is no giver or receiver here, only an open heart. In order to taste this kind of freedom, we need only let go of our demands, criticism and expectations, and simply become one with what is happening right now. Ultimately we will see that we must just open our hands if we want to be held.

C/author/2005

Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, speaker and author is a long term Zen practitioner whose work integrates Zen and everyday life, offering a new approach to life's challenges. The relationship expert on i.village.com, she is the author of Living By Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life), http://www.livingbyzen.com She is also the author of Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World), Zen And The Art Of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster) and many other books. She can be contacted at topspeaker@yahoo.com

---

Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest

"But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." -... Read More

Create Your Own Self Esteem - Part 2

The good part of this story is that there is now hope to end and effectively reverse the effects of all negative emotions that we individually and collectively experience in our lives. Now... Read More

The Family

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 19, 2004I grew up in a very abusive family. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse were the norm. My father was the most abusive, but... Read More

To Raise Your Frequency, Just Turn on the Joy!

The feeling response to being filled up with Love from your Spirit is joy. Higher frequency energy-Love-activates a joy response in your emotional body. I like to say that joy is a frequency-but... Read More

Discover The Magic Of Doing What You Love

Do what you love to do and give it your very best. Whether it's business or baseball, or the theater, or any field. If you don't love what you're doing and you can't... Read More

Self Help When Youre In Debt

It's no fun being in debt.Money shortages are always stressful and serious debt can emotionally drain you.And yet, while you'll find lots of advice about the practical aspects of debt management, there is... Read More

Life is About Choosing

Back to our youth days, we were taught that by being discipline and studying hard we would get good grades and would surely pass the school without failure. Therefore, as a kid we... Read More

Irresistible

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye... Read More

Quest for Freedom--A Story Of Pure Courage

The Nazis stormed into the house of Stanislavsky Lech, who was Jewish, herded the entire family out at gunpoint, packed them into an overcrowded train, filled with the stench of death and despair,... Read More

The Fuel for Creative Vigor

Writing a book or creating a killer headline requires a special blend of imagination, inspiration, and knowledge. Whether the ordeal is like enduring a root canal or soaring on a cloud, depends on... Read More

Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window

Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. There is one large window, but the shade is always down and very little light comes through.... Read More

Discover Your Passion

What are you passionate about? We didn't ask if you are passionate. But what are you passionate about? What stirs your emotions? What is it you can't stop talking about whenever someone asks:... Read More

Surefire Ways to Develop a Thankful Attitude

Spend some time thinking about how good you have it. We know this, but we don't often spend time pondering it. Doing so will shape and mold your attitude and develop healthy thought... Read More

Favorite Quotations... What Do They Say About Us?

Have you stopped to think what your favorite quotes are saying about you and your life experiences?How you relate to them? How they relate to you?Today... I decided to take one of my... Read More

Are You Really Living Your Life Today!

Yesterday I was but a child, looking. Looking ahead at a world of wonder. Everything was always ahead of me. All my dreams. All of my hopes. All my ambitions.Through childhood then adolescence... Read More

Quitting Before It Even Starts

Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning... Read More

Persistency - Element In Reality

One of the keys to being successful in anything you do is persistence. Lets clarify the word 'persistence' :- It is ability to be persist on instances. And one of key element in... Read More

Why Self Esteem Matters

A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK's top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with... Read More

How To Turn Your Life Around FAST!

There is nothing more important than feeling good.Come again? Didn't I just tell you how bad everything is!When you feel good you raise your vibrations. You get what you prefer. You send out... Read More

Have You Ever Felt GOD in You?

God is the primordial Creative Force that is believed to have created each atom that we see around us. When you sit and muse, have you ever heard a voice inside you talking... Read More

Random Thoughts on Living Your Best Life

More things I've noticed along the way:* Our son's birthday is Sept. 11. As we put him to bed on that terrible day, he said,"Daddy, I hate it that I'll always remember this... Read More

An Extraordinary Person

I am not going to tell you the story of an extraordinary person, who did remarkable things in life. Why should I? Are you not an extraordinary person? What do you think about... Read More

Forgiveness

"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness is the antidote." - Brian L. SeawardRecently I caught a portion of a television show about individuals working to make changes in their... Read More

How to Put the Sizzle Back in Your Relationship with These Seven Goal Setting Tools

Goal Setting and Relationships?That is not as weird as it may sound. Consider the following definition of a goal: "A goal is a future incidence or event that is consciously worked towards." With... Read More

Something About Nothing

Buddhists study nothing because they have found that you must know nothing before you can know or create anything.I have devoted most of my time over the last five years in the study... Read More

Re-Developing Your Vision

One of the most important things we can do for our businesses, schools, and organizations is to have vision. Vision being a clear picture of a desired end result that you are aiming... Read More

Lewis And Clark Pay Attention

As I write this Southern California has just ended its second week of triple digit temperatures. The intense heat changes the way we live and alters the rhythm of our days. We are... Read More

Faith Like a Child

Jonathan:??This is my brother, Jonathan??. They walked into the room together, one limping as he walked, the other patiently walking by his side. Matthew and Jonathan were brothers who would be attending my... Read More

If You Were an Angel... What Would You Do?

If you were an Angel what could you do to make a difference? What would you do? To some this is an overwhelming question. The first thought that would go through many minds... Read More