Improving Your Self Esteem

Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.

The result often is that we are taught to see how well we are doing, in terms of how pretty we are, how bright we are, what kind of house we have, how well we do in sports, what rewards we receive. However, in reality, these are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.

Here is an example: Sara was divorced and felt in many ways that she had shortchanged her two daughters, in the sense that they lived on very little money. She could shower few luxuries on them. At times, in her therapy, she talked to me about feeling that she was not much good at anything. Her husband had been abusive both physically and mentally, and had put her down almost constantly. Although she no longer lived with him, inside of herself she still carried feelings of worthlessness.

One day I asked her to review some of the best moments in her childhood. She said, "I always loved when Uncle Sam used to come over, and we all sang songs." I asked her if she did anything like that now, with her girls. She said that they often sang together in the car. In fact, she had taught them many of the songs that Uncle Sam had taught her. I asked her if she realized that she was offering her girls some of the wonderful family memories that were unique to her as a child. She said she hadn't thought about it, but it was certainly true. During months of therapy, we worked again and again in recognizing many valuable aspects of herself. Needless to say, her self-esteem began to improve. Sara is an example for all of us, in the sense that each person has to document his or her own positive talents and strengths.

We have to learn to pat ourselves on the back. To help you, I suggest a self-pride list. During the coming week, write down at least one item a day that you can take pride in having handled well. For example, I was polite and kind to several people in the supermarket checkout line, even though I was tired. Or, I used my head, rather than my fist, and really shared with my son my concerns over his getting another traffic ticket.

At the end of the week, read over your self-pride list, giving yourself a mental hug, or the high five sign. This is the beginning of giving yourself more recognition, which will in time lead to an improved sense of self worth. It is only with this improved sense of self-esteem that you can have the confidence to make sure that your life is filled with enchantment.

About The Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF?, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering.htm

---

Control Your Own Destiny

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."... Read More

Withstand the Test of Time

As I drove home from work late one wintry afternoon, chilled from the freezing temperatures, I noticed the beautiful trees aligned on both sides of the road. Amongst the evergreens and the pine... Read More

Two Drops Of Water

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17, 2002My problem is that I am falling in love. My friend and I are both 23. He lives in the United States, seven... Read More

The Fighting Father

This man is an Anglican priest but with a difference. You would not want to offend him put it that way. His online ministry helps to serve the community of street youth homeless/drug-addicted/criminal... Read More

My Life With Furniture

These days, I find the lines are blurred between school and Real Life. Student life often means spending a cozy evening with your computer or heading to the boardroom for an on-site lesson.Even... Read More

Universal Thought Systems Language Part 2

Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal... Read More

What Inspires You?

Have you ever thought? What inspires YOU? What is it that drives you day in and day out? What is it that inspires you?We think of creative people as being inspired and ask... Read More

A Life Time of Strategic Thinking

You may be one of the thousands who think "Strategic Thinking" applies only to the "captains" of business. But consider human stages of life and how Strategic Thinking is used at the most... Read More

Showing Your Appreciation - How To Make Others Feel Special

"There are fine things which you mean to do someday, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is... Read More

5 Things That Americans Can Do To Remember Reviving, Surviving and Thriving in the Wake of Sept 11

For those people who lost friends and loved ones in the September 11th World Trade Center attacks, the anniversary will re-open the wounds and renew the pain of great loss. For the... Read More

Love and Courage

To [many] work is not a gratifying opportunity to do good, but a necessary evil they would gladly forgo if they won or inherited a fortune. It is just a livelihood, a vital... Read More

Breaking Through Uncertainty - Welcoming Advertisty

We all question our ability at times. Uncertainty plagues us. It is even more intense if the ability we are questioning relates to something we have never tried or not succeeded at in... Read More

The Angels on My Path

I'm leaving on a TV tour in a few weeks. I'm going to be on the road. This is my second one and I'll visit TV news stations all over the country talking... Read More

A Pickup Line

Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 11, 2002I just started a wonderful new job. The atmosphere is laid-back, and the people alone make the place fantastic. The best of them... Read More

Big-Wave Mindfulness: Surfing For A Connection

Surfing is mindfulness in action. Riding the biggest waves is an all-out, fully-present-or-die-trying proposition.Thanks to a persistent case of aquaphobia, I've never tried surfing. However, I've done my share of snowboarding, and I... Read More

Information -- Schminformation, Enough Already!

We are drowning in it, our grey matter is swollen with it, half the time when we need a piece of it and we know it is "in there" somewhere, we can't access... Read More

Increase Awareness With One Simple Question

There are many ways we can increase our own personal awareness about our life and what we want to make out of it. Yet, we seldom ask the question, "Why am I doing... Read More

Does Introspection Assist in Self Progression?

Why would we need to examine our lives? What benefit does it yield? Isn't it just rehashing the past?All of these questions have merit and I will examine each in this article.Self progression... Read More

Inspirations: Some Other Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far

Some people live in and talk about the past so much it's as if they are "planning for the past."The "I'm an adult victim/survivor of (fill in the blank)" culture does a great... Read More

Learn to Deal in Challenges

(Excerpted from the 2004 Jim Rohn Weekend Leadership Event)To really help people in extraordinary ways, learn to deal in challenges. That is what sports is all about, challenges. That is what music is... Read More

Its The Journey, Not The Destination

Don't you just hate clich?s like the one illustrated in the headline of this article? I know I do. But love them or hate them, most of us must admit that such adages... Read More

Need for a Belief System: A System of Organization for Your Experiences!

I've spoken with many people who, over time, have felt inundated by their lives. It seems as though they've accumulated all of these memories and experiences, but the information seems jumbled and overwhelming.... Read More

Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First

Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great job of assisting and loving those around us. However, many of us fall short when it comes to taking good care of ourselves.... Read More

The Author Within You!

I always had an active imagination when I was young. I hated school, and would pass the time away day- dreaming about things I should not even have known about at such a... Read More

Flaming Fire Within Our Bones

Jeremiah was certainly one of the most distinguished notables of the Old Testament. To read his messages and experiences is to become acquainted with a great servant of God. I believe he revealed... Read More

Conspiracy of Silence

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 12, 2004I'm hoping you can help me with a moral problem that crops up every now and then in my personal and professional life.... Read More

Here is The Inspirational Wisdom From The Masters

Have you always wanted to do invent something, create something, improve the lives of other people, write a book, meet the partner of your dreams, and make more money. Here is some inspiration... Read More

Blessings for the Soul

In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. There is every breath in. There is every breath out. There is every heartbeat that reminds me of the joy of compassion and the blessing... Read More

There Must Be More To Life Than This

If you suffer from a nagging feeling of "there must be more to life than this", you're not alone."There must be more to life than this" can be an extremely de-motivating force. Guess... Read More