Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How!

No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships. And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better information from other people whether interviewing job candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale.

Contrary to what many people think, being an effective listener is not a passive activity. It takes concentration, effort, and active attention. Because our brains work much faster than our ability to speak, we often jump way ahead of the speaker in our minds and miss the opportunity to fully understand a person's feelings, position, and perspective. Environmental distractions or personal biases can also interfere with our ability to understand what a person is saying.

When listening, you are giving a gift of your time and attention to the other person. Work to respond both verbally and non-verbally to the person who is speaking. This lets the speaker know that you are listening and that you understand what he or she is trying to communicate. Here are some ideas to help you hone your listening skills:

1. Don't Talk. This may seem self-evident. However, many people listen with impatience. They are just waiting for their chance to speak, or worse yet they interrupt. Be courteous and give your listener your full attention. Avoid offering solutions if the speaker is expressing a problem. Just listen.

2. Listen Fully. A good listener looks interested in what the speaker is saying. Your body language speaks volumes. Maintain eye contact, sit still, lean slightly toward the speaker, and nod your head (but not too vigorously or you'll look like a chicken!).

3. Ask Clarifying Questions. Wait for the speaker to pause, and ask clarifying questions. It's a good idea to paraphrase what the speaker has said and to ask questions such as, "Did you mean?" or "If I understand correctly, you said?"

4. Provide Feedback. Remain engaged in what the speaker is saying and show this verbally. He or she will appreciate the occasional "I see..." or "Really?" or "I know!"

5. Keep Your Mind Open. The point of listening is to gain new information. Don't just search for a point that supports your own opinions. Be willing to gain new insights and learn about someone else's ideas.

6. Be on the Same Level. Make sure you are at eye level with the other person. Avoid having an employee or customer stand in front of your desk. Have comfortable chairs available so that a desk is not a barrier between you.

7. Respect Your Speaker. If the conversation involves criticism from either party or contains personal information, go to a private room for the discussion. Make sure other people can't listen to your discussion. This will help the speaker feel more at ease and demonstrate your respect for what he or she has to say.

8. Pay Attention to Cues. What isn't being said is often as important than what is being said. Body language speaks volumes. Watch the speaker's facial expressions, posture, eyes, gestures, and other nonverbal cues.

9. Avoid Invalidating Language. While you may not agree with what the speaker is saying, avoid defensive statements or phrases that argue with his or her points. Later, you can take time to review what was said and formulate a response. As an active and effective listener, your role is to allow the person the time and space to fully express his or her feelings.

10. Express Appreciation. Thank the listener for sharing his or her thoughts and feelings. It takes courage to speak up. True sharing builds trust and encourages further dialogue.

It takes time and energy to become a better listener. Be patient. As you begin to improve your listening skills, you may be surprised to find people will seek you out to share their thoughts and feelings. You will also find yourself involved in fewer conflicts and be perceived as a more positive and trustworthy person. Attentive listening is a rare skill that people respect and welcome.

ACTION ITEM: This week, concentrate on your listening skills. Do you finish sentences for others? Do you interrupt? Do you sneak looks at your watch? Pay attention to your listening habits and begin to bring conscious attention to improving these skills. Work to show others that you hear and understand them.

Wendy Maynard, your friendly marketing maven, is the owner of Kinesis. Kinesis specializes in marketing, graphic and website design, and business writing. Visit http://www.kinesisinc.com/resources/article s.html for more articles and free marketing wisdom. Want to harness the power of kinetic marketing? Sign up for Kinesis Quickies, a free bi-monthly marketing e-newsletter: http://www.news.kinesisinc.com

Visit Wendy's marketing blog, "Kinetic Ideas" at: http://www.wendy.kinesisinc.com

---

The Seven Mistakes to Avoid when Organising Your Student Leadership Program

How do you measure the success of a training or teaching program? There are many measures you can use including; focusing on learning outcomes, behavioural change, student engagement and even efficiency of delivery.An... Read More

Ten Characteristics of Leadership

Many people are interested in the characteristics of a great leader. There are many lists of these traits. These are quotes taken from an article by Bill George former chairman and CEO of... Read More

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is a magical, illusive, personal quality, divinely endowed on some people more than others. One thing is for certain, it is more easily identified... Read More

Leadership In The Zone!

"You do not merely want to be considered just the best of the best. You want to be considered the only one who does what you do." - Jerry GarciaWhat is the leadership... Read More

Leadership Lessons from Pope John Paul II

"Heroes are rebels with a cause. Rebels because they challenge the traditional ways of thinking and refuse to follow the herd. They have a cause, a vision, that's larger than life." - Sharif... Read More

Heres The REAL Reason Bush Won: The Dark Night Of The Leadership Soul

George Bush won the election because he was finally able to break out of the presidential bubble and give "leadership talks" on a consistent basis.But to do it, he had to face the... Read More

Leadership, Self-Development, and the Committment to Growth

There is a common phrase that says: "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." I know that most of us have heard it. The problem is that we all too often take... Read More

Weakness, Struggle, Fear, Knowledge, Growth, Courage, Leader

Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most remarkable men in the history of the world. As a boy he wanted the boldness of his father. As a child he wanted to be a... Read More

Choose To Become An Encourager

"...I know that the only source of happiness is within me, and I will begin to share it. Like a perfume, I know that I cannot pour it on others without getting a... Read More

Exceptional Leadership Inspires the Best Effort in Others

There is a steady stream being written and taught about leadership these days. There are tips about leadership, courses about leadership, books, retreats, and continuing education ? all focused on leadership. While all... Read More

Listening Like a Leader

Our studies of the most effective people in corporate America show that the top 2 percent are effective not because they executed best practices well. They did not make the most phone calls... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants

There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate during a meeting. For example, the person may feel reluctant to speak out, may disagree with the approach endorsed by others in the... Read More

7 AAA Ways To Succeed!

[Abounding Abundant Ample Ways To Boost Your Growth!] This may come as a surprise but there are reliable,effective and powerful ways to improve your ability to learnnew things. If you will allow me... Read More

5 Tips to Help You Win Big & Become a Village Hero

A few years ago, I returned to my impoverished village in Haiti. Many in the village came to see me-the tiny and diseased child they didn't expect to make it. Some of them... Read More

Leadership Is Power: Test Your Ethics

"The payoff for the ethical person is a reputation for honesty. It's a payoff that makes every undertaking easier and attracts unsolicited opportunities. It's also a payoff that results in strong friendships based... Read More

Steps to Becoming a Good Leader

STEPS TO BECOMING A GOOD LEADER: 1. Develop a master plan. What are your goals? What are the organization's goals? How are you going to reach them? 2. Develop a leadership style. To... Read More

10 Smart Ways Leaders Can Bring Out the Best in Others

You are a leader. Everyone is a leader. It doesn't matter if your title is Chairman of the Board or 3rd Assistant to the Supply Room Manager, you lead every time you influence... Read More

The Defining Moment: The Straw That Stirs The Drink Of Motivational Leadership (Part Two)

In Part One, I described the importance of establishing deep, human connections with people you lead. I said there were three ways to do that, by communicating information, by making sense, and by... Read More

The Metamorphosis of the Successful Executive . . . Overcoming Professional Stagnation

You're a bright, successful business executive making good money and managing a capable staff of accomplished professionals. You are successful beyond your wildest business school dreams. You've achieved much-yet something's missing. On the... Read More

What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty

J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service, but, when he got out of college, the Oklahoma oil boom caught his attention. Since his father had already prospered in the oil... Read More

Transformational Leadership

"What is leadership?" When this question is asked most of the people answer "leadership is the capacity or an ability of a person to lead". Earlier theories of leadership viz. trait, behaviour and... Read More

Leadership Development for Success

In today's highly competitive world, there is a lot of pressure on leaders to create highly productive organizations. To be successful with this task, leaders will need all of the talent, skills, techniques,... Read More

Celebrating Successes: The Power Of Compliments

Years ago, when I was new in management circles, a veteran administrator decided to share his self-described secret of success. He said: You have to be careful, Bill. I*ve learned not to compliment... Read More

Top Skills Of Extraordinary Leaders

1. Good Communicator. Extraordinary Leaders are those who can take the vision they have and communicate it in ways that their followers can easily understand, internal, and own. Then, and only then, can... Read More

Leadership for the Successful Entrepreneur!

Why talk about leadership?"Leadership is important whether you a leader of a team or are a sole proprietor with no one working for you. Effective leadership is actually a way of thinking, a... Read More

Wanted: A Dictionary-Perfect Leader

Answers are often before our very eyes or in front of our noses - particularly if we read the American Heritage Dictionary!Explore with me how some of the multitude of definitions for the... Read More

Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing

Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set of eyes. Its asking your self if you have a clear picture of the situation and of what is happening around you.Many people... Read More

Make The Elephant Jump -- Leading With A Kind Heart

Leadership is not about getting people to do what they want. If they did what they want, you wouldn't be needed as a leader. Instead, leadership is about getting people to do what... Read More

Lead People...Manage Things

Master The Five Key Facets of High Performance LeadershipMany people in leadership positions struggle with understanding what makes a great leader. While billions of dollars are spent annually on leadership development, quality leadership... Read More