Thoughts from Deik and Kims Wedding, for You and Your Marriage

Deik and Kim, remember that marriage is a COVENANT relationship. It is not merely a contract of convenience, nor a promise to live together as long as each still feels good about the other. It is a COVENANT to love and care for each other until parted by death, or until the coming of our Lord.

Throughout history, covenants have been made between Nations, between Kings and their subjects, between individuals (as in marriage), and even between God and Man. When such a covenant was established, there were rights and duties on both sides, and the covenants were sealed by gifts, by a kiss, by a handshake, or by the sharing of a common meal.

Today, as DEIK and KIM make their COVENANT of marriage to each other, you will see and enjoy these elements:
? they will hold each other's hands,
? they will give each other their gifts of rings,
? they will kiss to seal the covenant,
? and they will invite you to share a meal together with them at the reception.

All because their Marriage is a covenant relationship of love and faith.

To put this in context, back in Genesis, after the Fall of Mankind, when God was declaring His judgments, and passing out the consequences for the deception and the sin, He pointed out that one of the consequences of a fallen human nature would be that husbands and wives would have conflict in their marriage relationships, as wife would seek to take over the husband's leadership position, and the husband would respond to the challenge forcefully.

God pointed out to Eve, with Adam right there listening, that, "Your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you."

Now our first thought might be that God is telling Eve that she will have a pure love and desire for her husband, but that he will be some cave man and just want to be the boss, ruling over his wife. But that is not the sense of what God is saying. God uses the exact same phrase, the same words, when he is speaking to Cain in Genesis Chapter Four and warns him that, "Sin is crouching at your door, and seeks to devour you, but you must master it."

What God is saying to Eve is that she will seek to conquer her husband, but that he will respond by mastering, or ruling over her. As a consequence for their sin, they will not have the loving marriage relationship that God had originally intended for them to enjoy.

Now, fast forward several thousand years, and God gives us the remedy for this problem in marriage. In Ephesians chapters Four and Five, St. Paul gives us great instruction on how we should live in society as Christians, what our attitudes and behaviors should be, how we should treat each other.

He begins this section with these words, "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling that you have received. Be 100% humble, and gentle. Be patient with each other and make allowances for each other's faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace."

He continues with other powerful, life-changing instructions. And then comes to the place of addressing this specific problem with marriages that we just talked about. God's remedy for the problem caused by Eve's self-centeredness, that the wife would "desire to conquer" her husband, is this?

Paul writes?

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Submission is God's remedy for a heart that seeks to be in charge and be in control.

Then, Paul addresses the husband's response of wanting to forcefully rule over his wife. God's remedy for this is?

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and willingly suffered and died for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

His summary is?

"? each one of you husbands must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Paul is telling husbands that they are not to rule over their wives, but rather that a husband is to love his bride in the same way that Christ loves His Bride, the Church. And that each husband is to be preparing his bride for eternity in Heaven.

So Kim, I challenge you to not allow your "inner Eve" to try to conquer Deik, but instead willingly submit to him, in the same way that Christ submitted to the Father, and work with him as the partner and lover that God always intended a bride to be for her husband.

And Deik, I challenge you to love Kim with the same intensity of self-sacrificing love that Christ has for his bride, the Church - never seeking to dominate her, but rather always working to prepare Kim for eternity.

And I challenge you both as a couple, to use your marriage to bless others, and to proclaim to others that "God is Love."

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

---

Planning Your Outdoor Wedding Reception

An outdoor wedding reception can be host to an almost unlimited number of guests and has the aura of nature that can never be duplicated in an indoor ballroom. Some of the following... Read More

Marriage and the Election

Dear Friends of Marriage,There is a lot of talk on both sides in this election that this is the most important election this century. Most of this is exaggeration to try and motivate... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to include in your wedding preparations. Unfortunately, there are too many "cookie-cutter" type favors out there, which portray the couple's lack of interest in... Read More

A Wedding For All Seasons

In times gone by it wasn't uncommon for young couples to consult the Tarot as to what month of the year according to the stars would be their best time to wed, this... Read More

Wedding Tips

Weddings are made in heaven, they say, but they have to be organized on earth. For most of us wedding is a once-in-lifetime affair when someone most special becomes yours for the rest... Read More

Italian Honeymoon Vacations

Going to Italy on a honeymoon vacation could be the best turning point in your romance as you venture in this place full of romantic pursuits and mesmerizing love. The places worth visiting... Read More

Marriage Tips: Fifteen Ways to Say ?I Love You? in 3 Minutes or Less

To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your marriage, you'll want to know a number of ways to express your feelings to your spouse. There are certainly times when you'll want... Read More

Bachelor Party Planning - The Ultimate Weekend Trip with the Guys

Rounding up the guys to devour some barbecued red meat followed by a drunken jaunt to the local "nudie bar" just doesn't seem to be cutting it for today's soon-to-be grooms as they... Read More

Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording

The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the people you intend to invite to your wedding plenty of advance notice. If, for example, you are planning to marry during the holiday... Read More

How to Make Your Wedding Vows Something You?ll Remember Forever

If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your own wedding vows, you're probably looking for some tips to make your vows as special, meaningful, and eloquent as you can. This is... Read More

Rockland: Maines BestKept Secret for A Wedding Destination

In 2004' Rockland Maine celebrated its 150th anniversary, yet very few in the past would have ever considered it to be a place for a vacation, let alone a romantic getaway experience or... Read More

Organising your Wedding Stationery

Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests... Read More

Current Trends in Wedding Photography

Wedding photography is an evolving field that requires artistic talent, vision, and highly technical expertise.In the past wedding photography was almost always limited to stiff posses without much regard for the underlying story,... Read More

Moissanite Engagement Rings ? Find The Perfect Glam You?re Looking For

Wish to make that one day in your life really special? Let moissanite engagement rings work their charm. Affirm your commitment through the beauty of moissanite engagement rings. Make a gift that is... Read More

The (American) Bride Wore Red

Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the formerly unthinkable -- getting married in a bold red gown.Not that red is a stranger to marriage. Hardly. Red plays a major role... Read More

Planning a Maui Wedding

Just as there are a variety of wedding packages available, Maui wedding planning is also packed with many possibilities. So many people come here to get married that the choices of wedding planners... Read More

Florida Beach Weddings

There is nothing more romantic than a wedding by water especially at dusk.The sound of the waves lapping to shore provide music to a resplendent sunset creating an unequalled backdrop of constantly changing... Read More

Lingerie Party Ideas: Tips to Help Break the Ice

Are you in the process of planning that last special party for the soon to be bride?Before you go strait to the "good stuff", you may want to break the ice with some... Read More

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Your wedding vows are the words that will forever remain in your partner's heart and memory. So you want to ensure that you express exactly what you are feeling and how much you... Read More

Trust in Marriage

Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can be thought of as a thermometer that can measure the positive and negative nature of a relationship. The more positive one feels about... Read More

Hot Wedding Trend: Platinum Wedding Rings

In our hungry-for-anything new pop culture world, celebrities are often the ones that can start a hot fashion trend seemingly overnight. With their heavy media exposure, they are often photographed wearing the latest... Read More

Caricature Entertainment: A Surefire Way to Liven Up Your Wedding Celebration

Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and be remembered.If you've never seen caricatures drawn at an event, you'll be amazed when you see how popular they are with guests. Not... Read More

8 Questions Brides Ask About Setting up a Wedding Registry

In theory, setting up a registry is simple. You decide on one or several stores, create a registry online or in person, select various items, and get the word out to your guests.... Read More

Choosing a Wedding Reception and Banquet Facility

It's time to look for a banquet facility. Most clients end up deciding on a particular banquet facility for two specific reasons ? they like how they were treated by the banquet sales... Read More

Your Disc Jockey Acts As A Wedding Event Planner

Give disc jockey's credit. Many of them have endured so much criticism. The banquet managers sometimes won't acknowledge their existence or tries to dictate what they have to do and when. They am... Read More

Discount Wedding Dresses ? Elegance and Style that Won?t Blow Your Budget!

If you're planning your wedding day then you'll be all too aware that one of the many expenses is the cost of your dream wedding gown. Fortunately, with the fantastic selection of top... Read More

Wedding Favors, a Special Thank You for Your Guests

Wedding favors are as unique and varied as the couples whose marriage they commemorate. From shot glasses to chocolate roses, coasters to napkin holders, the bride to be has literally hundreds of ideas... Read More

Wedding Dresses ? Why They Are White and Other Wedding Lore

Brides have always worn white, right? Not so. In ancient times brides wore bright colored wedding dresses to signify their joy. White for western brides didn't become fashionable until Queen Victoria wore it... Read More

28 Things That Really Do Matter In Marriage (Short Shots On Living An Exceptional Life)

In my opinion, these things matter...1. Valuing commitment over instant pleasure and faithfulness beyond short term displeasure.2. Telling less than I feel for the purpose of learning more than I know.3. Choosing to... Read More