A Mothers Way

Dear Mom

On this day set aside to honour "Mother's" let me tell you a story about you and me and your granddaughter Shelby.

"Hi Mom, I'm in a really bad space" so many things went through my mind in a flash. Was she pregnant? I was also impressed with her language because I understood the language of space. Yes, she is my daughter and we sometimes speak the same language. Shelby had been to a high school leadership camp on the weekend. How profound for her had it been? What did she want to reveal to me as a result of her experience at camp? Or had she lost a friend to death? In the half an hour since I had last seen her. All this went through my mind in the nano second that elapsed in this moment, what was really true?

Then she let it out, I forgot my bag of clothes on the bus. Now, that may seem small and insignificant and what you may not know dear reader is what the clothes represented.

The evening prior, Shelby and I made a trek to Mountain equipment co-op to purchase some "spandex" for her to row in. What fun we had! I watched her amazement and pride as she poured her young svelte body into the luscious hugging spandex Not, only did this clothing look great on her, it was performance gear for her beloved rowing sport. I could relate. It is important to be equipped with the proper gear. She looked amazing and the smile on her face told me she felt it. Ringing up at the cash had me paying down a hundred dollars easily, and I really felt her sense of gratitude. And her bubbly non-stop verbal thank-you's were classic Shelby!!

So, when she phoned the next day with this news my heart sank for her. In a heartbeat I knew her disappointment and her pain. I also felt her embarrassment and sense of stupidity for "forgetting" this very important bag. Not, once did I ask a painful "how could you ?" sort of question, or go to a preachy tone with "you know how much those clothes cost blah blah blah scenario.

I assured her they would probably show up at the lost and found at the bus depot. I hung up and sat down to journal and the solution came to me. I would simply replace the outfit. The other important thing about this day was it was the day they were going to be "on the water" and I knew how much that mattered to Shelby. By simply replacing the clothes this day, she would miss nothing. The clothes would either show up the next day or not. If they did great, I would return the extra pair, if not, I would still want to replace the outfit. She deserved so much more than what the lost clothes were costing her.

I felt smart, satisfied and really proud of my quick thinking and action. When I arrived at her High school to deliver the new package, by serendipity Shelby was right there in the front hall ready to receive. She was appreciative, grateful and bubbling with her enthusiasm and simple joy. As if somehow the new clothes had replaced her lost sense of self.

You have heard this story up until this part mom and what you remembered was the time I lost that very special leather coat when I was 15. You reminded me of your very same response. You had the solution when I was devastated and heartbroken.

"Just replace it!." And that is what you did.

Up until this point in our conversation I had no conscious memory of my lost clothes experience.

It was after we spoke that I was able to piece together the fabric of the stories. Yes, the story runs a very deep parallel. And what I know and what is so amazing and way more important than the details is the "mother's way" that I was able to emulate. Many reading this story may be judging and thinking this is a story of excess or a story about clothes.

The magic in this story is in the threads of time and the lessons that were laid down in the building of the child's self esteem and image. It is also in the patterns that were used to create a template for mothering. A template that I use so automatically, I sometimes forget it is there. This template of unconditional love.

So today is about honouring the patterns and design of whom you are as my mother and all the beautiful ways that you mothered me. Your gifts that I know if we explore will find stories that go back in time to you and Gan (your own mother)

Today dear Mom we all stand in front of the mirror and see the sartorial splendour of our work. I know that I am part of a design line that any girl child will be proud.

And it is beautiful.

Teresa O'Neill is the parent to four fabulous children. As a single mom she has made choices in her work life to align her value of family and work. Her decision to be a life coach allowed her to combine her obvious talents and skills with a career choice she is in love with. She has actually practiced Entrepreneurial skills that has allowed her to run her own business Coaching Connections.

She guides other Entrepreneurs in the practice of "A Better Way to Work" A coaching program that she delivers. It is absolutely possible to have room for it all! Success in business and in family life. In fact it is imperative to living fully. Her playful spirit and kind heart shows up whether she is coaching a business woman in her fifties or in the swimming pool with her eleven year old son.

http://www.coachteresa.com

---

Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted cookie while I was carrying him out of the bakery. I asked him, "Can you give mommy a bite?" He leaned over and... Read More

Choosing the Perfect Jogging Stroller

When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question to ask yourself is whether you want a swivel or fixed wheel. The benefit of choosing a jogging stroller with a fixed wheel... Read More

Unique Baby Names

What's in a name? Er?well, everything, really! Of course your little bundle of joy is the sweetest, most beautiful thing you have ever seen and you want to choose a name that reflects... Read More

Trip, Trip, Trip... Here Is Your Night Visitor Again!

Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night you hear, trip, trip, trip and your bedroom door opens. It's not hard to imagine who it is and when you feel your... Read More

Plane Trip with Kids

Though you can cover even very long distances by car if you have the guts to, as soon as it comes to crossing water, you'll have to stick to a plane. The equation... Read More

Fraternal Twin Parenting Concerns

Identity and Your Fraternal TwinFor the most part, throughout this article I refer to a fraternal twin in the singular rather than the plural "twins." This is to emphasize the individuality of each... Read More

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This is the tool that allows you as parents to train your child. Through obedience your child will learn self-control and develop other positive... Read More

Keep the Little Ones Safe, Follow Pool Safety Guidelines

Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent out there. If you are lucky enough to own an above ground pool or inground pool, you know there are certain safety precautions... Read More

Now, Theyre Bullying My Daughter In Our Home: Welcome To Cyber-Bullying

Last night Tom's daughter, Sue, came out of her room to see her dad and said, "I got another one of those instant messages. It says, 'tomorrow you had better not show up... Read More

Back to School Success Tips

Q. With the school year just beginning, what can we do as parents to help make this a successful year for our teen-ager and our family?A. Fortunately, there are many things you can... Read More

Toxic Chemicals, Are Your Children Being Exposed?

You do what you can to keep your little ones safe and healthy in this world we live in. You put your household cleaners out of reach and make sure the front door... Read More

Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer

Along with eating healthier we need to be more active. The two go hand in hand. Healthy eating + physical activity = a healthier mind and body.You will need to be a good... Read More

My Children

I have been a single mom for almost 20 years. My kids were 3, 7, 12 and 14 when my ex left.As a single mom, it's often hard because you are the only... Read More

What Parents Should Do For Children To Do Their Best After Divorce?

Why do some children still do best after divorce and separation? Is there divorce parenting approaches that really work? Read and learn the divorce parenting approaches that really work.Going through the process of... Read More

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children

"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that look like your child's favorite movie... Read More

Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?

Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret it ten minutes later?Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how well-behaved our kids or placid and patient we are. At... Read More

Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids

Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider themselves artistic. Parents do, however, worry about their toddler's art abilities. As a child care provider for the past 10 years, I've had... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Power Struggle

Q: My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do with our two teenagers. They have been great kids and all of a sudden it seems like we are... Read More

Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names

As with everything, names go through cycles of change with passing generations. I also tend to think that names have improved immensely since the first Elmas, Minervas, Bufords, and Alfreds graced the baby's... Read More

Parents --- Your Childrens Report Card May Be Rigged

Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose students consistently fail standardized tests can be shut down. To protect their jobs, teachers and principals are now under intense pressure to cheat... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a teenager to take that advice is another matter altogether. It's not only a case of the advice 'falling on deaf ears', sometimes the... Read More

Back to School Success: The Parents Job and the Students Job

Q. With another school year starting, we are not sure how to handle things with our teen-ager. Last year turned into such a battle, and we fear another year just like last year.... Read More

Mothers Day Tribute

As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a different perspective to ponder.Being a parent and a mother are not necessarily the same. Parenting is a gender-neutral term and refers more to... Read More

Peer Pressure - Five Ways to Help Teenagers Beat Peer Influence

Young people generally want to fit in to their various social groups so peer approval is a significant driver for their behaviour. For a young person resisting peer influence can mean isolation or... Read More

How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant medication, such as Ritalin and Dexedrine in their various forms, in treating the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders in children, teens, and... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents

What's hard for teenagersHaving people who don't understand you trying to control you.Parents not understanding the things you have to deal with.Having to deal with school.Being accepted by friends.Having someone really close to... Read More

Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education

I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I can search the Internet on any subject that interests me, at any time day or night, in the comfort of my home. I... Read More

Discipline Without Damage

If your parenting methods include abuse of any kind; physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, please get help to stop as soon as possible. Adults are supposed to safeguard and protect the young among... Read More

Let Kids Help

One fantastic way to get your children involved in what they are eating, is to have them help. A great way to start is to let them make up their lunch for the... Read More