Kids Party Etiquette for Parents

Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it comes to the unspoken rules of kids party etiquette?

Experienced Moms and Dads know the do's and don'ts of both hosting and attending kids parties.

Here are some pearls of wisdom from these parent experts to those just starting out on the party circuit...

INVITATIONS

The rule of thumb passed down by experienced Moms and Dads is to invite the same number of party guests as your child's age. Resist the temptation to invite every child in your child's classroom. Be discrete and avoid hurt feelings by mailing invitations home instead of passing them out in school. A manageable party is a more enjoyable one both for the party attendants and for you!

PARTY TIME AND DURATION

An hour is sufficient for toddlers and pre-schoolers when naptimes are still an issue. Plan your party when the birthday child will be freshest and best able to handle all the excitement, perhaps a morning brunch is best.

For older school age children, a two to three hour party at any time of day is a safe bet; evening parties and sleep-overs are popular options for pre-teens.

RSVPs

Always include an RSVP date and phone number on your party invitations. In the event of a guest failing to RSVP, a cordial call on or after your RSVP date is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes mail is delayed and other mishaps occur, and you need to be sure that the invitation was received. In addition, knowing the exact guest count is necessary for planning purposes.

GIFT GAFFES

Children may sometimes express their true, and not necessarily polite, feelings about a gift they have received. In advance of the party, explain to your child that it's necessary to thank all the gift-givers with equal enthusiasm, no matter what the gift. Impress upon your him or her that each guest feels their gift is special, and that it's the thought behind it that counts.

If you plan to open gifts at the party, make it early before kids are tired, cranky and hyped with sugar. Of course, this issue can be avoided entirely by opening the gifts after guests have departed, a time-saving practice which prevents the embarrassment of the party child making ungrateful comments.

COMPETITIVE GAMES

There's nothing wrong with good old-fashioned competition; it gets the adrenalin going and cranks up the excitement. Just make sure that the elements of each game are manageable for the age group you are inviting. A trial run with the party child prior to the party will likely head off any problems.

In addition, small gifts such as a lollipop or small trinkets given to every player for completing the game is preferable to awarding one large prize to the winner only. Planning a craft activity or end-of-party reading time will involve all the guests, even the quieter ones.

SIBLINGS SHOWING UP UNINVITED

Be very clear on your party invitation by using the name of the guest invited. Some people will ignore the obvious and do what's convenient for them anyway, so have a few extra goodie bags on hand for siblings who just show up.

BACK-UP PLANS

If you're having an outdoor party, it's good common sense to have a rainy day alternative. Confirm your entertainer one week before party time, but prepare a handful of games you can orchestrate on your own, if necessary. If a guest or two are late for the festivities, don't delay your schedule but keep on as planned. Although no-shows, delays, and inclement weather are party bummers, you can still pull it off like professional with a little advance preparation.

PARTY CHILD MISBEHAVING

Here's where some advance coaching is in order. Emphasize the important role your child has as the party host or hostess to make guests feel comfortable. Discuss the responsibilities s/he will have such as greeting the guests, showing them where to sit at the party table, and handing out party favors. Stress that through helping others enjoy the day, your child will likely have a better time too. A gentle reminder during the party should be all that's needed once you've laid down the ground rules.

GUESTS MISBEHAVING

The party excitement, coupled with sugar intake, can lead to tantrums, tears, and other misbehavior. Step back a moment and try to handle these problems with patience and diplomacy. A little attention and redirection is sometimes all that's needed to remedy the situation.

Give the child a special job to do or make them an honorary party helper. If the behavior escalates, don't be afraid to separate the child to a quiet room. Explain that bad behavior will not be tolerated and that the parents will be called to take him or her home if it continues.

DUPLICATE GIFT DILEMMA

If there's a gift receipt attached from a thoughtful parent, you're golden. Otherwise, don't get into it with another parent unless you can do so without causing offense. You can try just returning the gift for store credit, if you know where it was purchased. Or, stash it away with the name of the original gift-giver taped to it. This way you can recycle the gift, making sure it goes to an entirely new (and hopefully appreciative) child.

THANK YOU NOTES

Thank you notes are an excellent way to promote good manners and appreciation in your children. Not only are they important social skill builders, they foster good writing and creativity as well. Kids will learn to enjoy writing thank you cards if you make it a fun project by using colorful note cards and glittery gel pens or let them design their own on the computer.

For younger children, it's OK for the parent to write the note and have the party child sign it. The party child could even draw a picture which Mom or Dad can copy and send as a thank you. The "fill-in-the-blanks" type thank you note are a great alternative too. Another super idea is to include a picture of the guest taken with the party child along with the thank you note.

Incidentally, it's critical to keep a careful list of who-gave-what so thank you notes can be sent without mix-ups.

CAN PARENTS STAY?

If you're unsure if you can accompany your child to a party, just be up front with the parents beforehand and ask what their party plans are. The RSVP call is a great time to ask questions. Most parents of younger children know some kids are more comfortable with their parents around and plan accordingly. (A pot of coffee and extra cake or munchies for the adults.) Most parents will offer to help if they stay - an extra bonus for the host/hostess!

Copyright 2004 Kids Party Paradise All Rights Reserved

Patricia B. Jensen is a mother of three and kids party enthusiast. She is the webmaster and owner of Kids-Party-Paradise.com - a complete resource for kids party ideas including invitations, cakes, decorations, games, costumes, favors, and food.

For all the latest party news, read her Kids Party Blog.

---

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother is 2 1/2. From the time his brother was born, until now, he has been loving, giving, and caring. Like all siblings sharing... Read More

Top Five Ways To Stay In Touch With Your Child

Once your little boy/girl goes off to school, you may find that your "special talks" occur less frequently... You may become disheartened by the mere fact that your child now has new friends... Read More

Relate With Your Teen And Gain Their Trust

We were all teens at one time for some many years ago even if we don't like to admit it. Many of us can look back and say our teen years were good,... Read More

How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child

Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around us, due to intolerance, and many of us blame it on somebody else. Parents teach their children, all the time, and when one... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison, like most average colonial Americans, spent few years, if any, in formal grammar schools of the... Read More

Dads, Handle your Kids Mistakes

One of the most difficult parts of being a father is learning to accept your children's mistakes. It certainly can be easy to be loving, supportive, and helpful when your children are mistake-free,... Read More

The Truth About Motherhood

What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when I was pregnant, experienced mothers could not stop giving me advice on taking care of newborns, delivery expectations and child care solutions. Yet,... Read More

Vision: 20/20 Is Not Enough!

Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision checked. Don't be too quick to say, "My child's vision is fine: 20/20!" In many cases that is not enough.The Snellen chart, the... Read More

Adderall and Its Side-Effects

Adderall is a stimulant medication used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in both children and adults. It is made from a combination of four amphetamine compounds. Adderall is useful because... Read More

Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce

Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United States in the year 2000. That's... Read More

The Long Journey Home

Once upon a time, I thought I had it all. I had a child, a career, the world at my feet. Or, so I thought.With the birth of my second son, my whole... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose for your child will last a lifetime. Whether you're looking for something original that will stand out from the crowd or a traditional... Read More

A New School Year

Depending on where you live school will be starting this month or next month. A new school year is usually exciting and scary at the same time. Most children won't admit it, but... Read More

How to Get a Good Diagnosis to See If Your Child Has ADHD

Your child's teacher says that you need to find out if your child has ADHD or not. What do you do? Here are some tips from the ADHD Information Library. First, find a... Read More

7 Things To Teach Your Kids About Money

Did you know that many people retire broke?It's true. After a lifetime of hard work and having earned literally hundreds of thousands of dollars, they end up with nothing.So where did all their... Read More

Whine Oh Whine Am I The Only One?

I thought I was the only one in the world with a whiny 5-year-old. All the other 5-year-olds that I know of are either well-behaved or are total monsters! My elder child is... Read More

So You Want to Adopt?

Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need to adopt a child. Sometimes it is because they have exhausted every other means of having children. Some people just feel the need... Read More

Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy painting the backyard fence, when their ten-year old son came out with the vacuum cleaner. He opened the front panel, removed the bag,... Read More

What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity

The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is the term nutritionists use to describe the intended balance between calories consumed and calories burned. If the level of physical activity is not... Read More

Because Every Child Is A Born Genuis

Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding the human mind through person's handwriting. When a person writes, the signal in the form of letters get decoded / printed on the... Read More

How to Help Your Children to Blossom

I am writing this from the beautiful mountains of Western North Carolina in the southeastern region of the United States.It is gorgeous here in April, with trees covered in white or pink blossoms,... Read More

The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children

What you say and do about money has a profound influence on your child. There are money moments every day that you can use to teach your children important skills and lessons about... Read More

Watch What You Say

"Now don't you go getting any ideas, Harold.""Don't you get any ideas either, Terry.""Don't you two get any ideas."The young mother's words to her small children echoed in my head for several days.... Read More

Is Your Teen Swamped with Homework and Tests?

I hear from many parents that their child is stressed out with schoolwork, tests, finals, finding time to study, and extracurricular activities.I do not like seeing overstressed children and teenagers. Stress takes a... Read More

Back to School Care Packages!

I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness as my oldest daughter prepares for her freshman year of college at the University of Maryland in the fall. She has already told... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your children. All the leading experts have... Read More

Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?

Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are afraid they don't have the training or ability to be their children's teacher. This is certainly understandable, because most parents never had any... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Truth or Lie?

Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking and even shocking bulletin for you:According to research conducted at the prestigious-sounding Josephson Institute of Ethics in, of course, California, here are two... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want and have planned for a family; the truth is that most people have kids because a woman gets pregnant. That is about the... Read More