Life Lessons Learned in My Underwear

For several years now, I've told the following story as a keynote presentation when I do speaking engagements:

When our oldest son was a toddler and teething heavily, he woke up one morning at 4 screaming and crying. My wife nudged me as a reminder that it was my turn to get up with him.

All the regular attempts to get him back to sleep did not work, so I decided to take him for a drive, which had been working for about a month or so. The problem was I was wearing only a T-shirt and underwear. My ID and pants were in the bedroom where Lauren had already gone back to sleep.

If I learned anything in that first year of parenthood, it was: Never wake a sleeping baby, and more important, never, ever wake a sleeping mom.

So, in my early-morning logic, I thought no one would see us. Driving around to get him to sleep did not work that night. To make a long story short, I got pulled over for speeding.

The officer asked to see my license and registration. I told him I'd really like to show them to him, but they were at home.

That led to the dreaded question/demand:

"Would you please step out of the car, sir?"

Looking down, I admitted I had a problem with that. He leaned over to see two skinny, pale legs sticking out of a T-shirt emblazoned with: Tallahassee Men of Integrity.

He then asked if I was naked. I replied that I was wearing underwear and would be happy to show him if necessary.

He never cracked a smile.

He walked back to his car and called in my tag number to confirm that I was who I said I was. He returned and ran down the list of many violations he could charge me with, but he settled on a ticket for driving without proof of license and insurance.

His parting parenting advice:

"Next time, sir, be sure to wear your pants."

I can lift three principles for living from this story, all of which have to do with our choices.

1) Our choices have consequences.

My only intention that night was to get my crying kid to sleep. But a series of choices led me to a result I had not intended or expected. I was responsible for the outcome of my choices, regardless of what I had intended.

2) Every time we go out into the world, we are representing ourselves, our family, sometimes our job or profession.

Like my grandmother used to say, "Remember who you are." I used to think she meant something about Alzheimer's, but now I realize she was encouraging me to make choices that would represent me well.

3) We all have a story to tell, both during our lives and at the end of our lives.

Will your story be one that is worth modeling and admiring, or will it be a cautionary tale, one to avoid copying?

If you do not like the story you are telling, it's never too late to change direction. Just don't let the learning from your own experiences take too long.

If you have been doing it wrong for the last 10 years, I suggest that's long enough. Our choices become our habits; our habits become our character; our character becomes our story and destiny.

Life is full of choices. Good stories or bad stories are optional. Choose wisely.

And wear your pants.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for more leading edge tips and tools from parenting coach Jeff Herring.

---

Public-school Teachers Know Best --- They Send Their Kids To Private Schools

A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found that nationwide, public-school teachers are almost twice as likely as other parents to send their children to a private school. The study also... Read More

The Theme from MASH - Suicide is Not Painless

The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote control, pausing mindlessly at each channel to see the picture on the screen; I could not motivate myself to do anything else. I... Read More

Playing Safe

Do you really want your child to enjoy playing with a toy that was made on the other side of the world by people who are no more than children themselves, and paid... Read More

Teaching Your Children About the Value of Money

We take it for granted that children know how money gets into our wallets. The tips below will guide you through teaching your children the value of money.Now I'm not referring to the... Read More

Ease Bug Bites with Easy Herbs

Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf from Susun S. Weed's storehouse of natural remedies: Soothe, heal, and prevent bites with safe herbal remedies that grow right where you live:... Read More

Wholism and Materialism

Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding a Thinker's Anonymous organization. It surely is the rage to eschew thinking.Helping people achieve great things is worthwhile to your SELF.If you do... Read More

6 Signs You?re A High Maintenance Parent

The children of Baby Boomers, the Echo Generation, are entering college in increasing numbers. Getting into the best schools is increasingly competitive. Having good grades, a great SAT score and participating in extracurricular... Read More

Be Serious With Your Child Future

As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your child for the future , physically emotionally and mentally.The first big Intellectual Challenge your child will face is the Entrance Test for KG... Read More

The Hardest Job I Ever Had

I used to have a really challenging job. It was stressful and demanding, high pressure and large responsibilities.I was really good at it too. Really, I was.Then I became a parent.In my old... Read More

Couch Potatoes Beware!

It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight children are generally quite poor. And this is only exacerbated by the teasing and ridicule of their peers ? a situation that, in... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Power Struggle

Q: My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do with our two teenagers. They have been great kids and all of a sudden it seems like we are... Read More

Should We Apologize To Our Children?

An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes we may believe that if we apologize to our children we weaken ourselves and the rules we are trying to keep. We may... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose for your child will last a lifetime. Whether you're looking for something original that will stand out from the crowd or a traditional... Read More

The Challenges of Single Parenting

Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I've discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models... Read More

His Toy, Her Toy

I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her and I dressed in pinks and purples sitting in her lacy pink room playing dolls danced threw my head. A year later my... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle... Read More

Theres Never a Bad Time To Start Helping To Spread The Word of God

Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible quiz to my child?A. The moment that she is able to recognize pictures or symbols. It's never too soon to start teaching a... Read More

PG Rating Isnt What It Used To Be

If there are any parents reading this who are thinking of taking their under-10 year olds to see the PG rated Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, please read the following from a ... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 3 Ways to Make the Time

Every now and then I'll get a story sent to me by e-mail that is a no-brainer idea for an article. One of those came across my desk just the other day. It's... Read More

Is it Attention Deficit Disorder or is it Tourettes Syndrome?

During the assessment process it is of great importance for the physician or clinician to consider other possible causes of inattention, impulsivity, or hyperactivity in your child (or teen, or yourself). In fact,... Read More

How to Handle Child Tantrums?

Child tantrums are a way for children to express their feelings and thoughts. Child tantrums are common in young children. Children below the age group of 4 are the most affected by child... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many people confused about values, virtues and life.What voices are calling out to you and what voices are you listening to?My daughter is just... Read More

The Top 10 Tips on Hiring a Babysitter

1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on hand.Write a thank you card to your babysitters a couple of times a year. Experienced parents always say, "When you find a good... Read More

How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader

Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help anyone to acquire information, knowledge, skills and improve on one self. And it is most wonderful to help your child to be a... Read More

Entering Their Imaginative World

In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all about relationship. These children are within a realm where they feel and respond much differently than others. There has been much focus on... Read More

Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children

When was the last time you and your kids rolled around on the floor together laughing yourselves silly? If you're like me, it may have been a while! Sometimes I get caught up... Read More

Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?

Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are afraid they don't have the training or ability to be their children's teacher. This is certainly understandable, because most parents never had any... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: The Bottom Line Issues

Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what are the typical bottom-line issues?A. Not surprisingly, the bottom line issues for parents are very different than the bottom line issues for the... Read More

Childhood Friendships

Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary part of growing up. While some of our children will maintain these friendships into adulthood, many will not. Kids move away or they... Read More