Teaching Kids the Value of Money

My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted to go to a winter retreat with her church youth group last year. Price of trip ? $45. I told her I'd talk to her dad about it. "HOW much is it?" he asked, "didn't she just go somewhere with the youth group?" "Yes," I replied, "and also to two friends' birthday parties. Another one is coming up this weekend." We both agreed that was a lot of money for us to spend for our daughter to have fun with her friends.

But the retreat was a church activity. So we should have forked out the money for her go, right? Well, maybe. In the past year or so our daughter had made a lot of new friends and had been asked to be involved in a lot of new social activities. Last summer was the first year we could afford to let her go to summer camp for a week. It pleased me more than anything to tell her she could go.

The more we've let our daughter go do things with her friends, the more she takes those things for granted, and expects more. She then resents doing something so menial as her household chores. So now we make sure her chores are done before she goes anywhere. "Room's not clean, laundry not started? Better hurry and do them before you go do something with your friends. Don't have time? Then I guess you're out of luck." But that was only the start. Whenever the attitude starts in she's given a warning and then privileges start being taken away, one by one.

You have to figure out what works for you. You may have to teach each child individually, because each is motivated differently. If your children cheerfully hand over their allowance every time they don't take out the garbage, you should take some other privilege away.

Resist the urge to give your children too much allowance. Don't buy them things that they can save money for themselves, like designer clothes, CD's, magazines, make up, video games, etc. Even young children can be taught to save for small things. Almost nothing makes me more sad than seeing children who take their allowances for granted and never have to work for it. Parents aren't doing their children any favors by teaching them to expect everything to be handed to them. We sacrifice, and they don't appreciate it. Why should they? They don't have anything to lose.

So did our daughter get to go on her retreat? We decided she could go if she paid $20 of the $45. She was not happy about it. She only gets $3 a week allowance, and she was saving her money for a new CD. She stewed about it for awhile, and then forked over what money she had. We worked out a payment schedule for her to come up with the rest of the money before the weekend of the retreat, and we let her do extra chores to earn a few more dollars. Are we guilty of child abuse? Our daughter thinks so, but her dad and I know better.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

---

Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3

Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of "magic" as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout... Read More

Humans and Their Innate Need for Drug Stimulation

We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like across the globe used such mind-altering drugs to alter their states. Still today in the world we have whole cultures enslaved to drugs... Read More

Is a Mothers Love, Medicine?

Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache, burning fever and sore throat. So what does any natural mother do when their offspring takes ill. They smother him or her with... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept her on a tight leash. They rarely considered her feelings about anything, showing a complete lack of empathy and compassion for her feelings... Read More

Why have children? DINCs, This is For You!

First there were Yuppies (Young Urban Professionals). Then came the Boomers, the Busters, the Boomlets, and Generation X. Now we have the DINCs, which stands for Double Income, No Children. I'm not talking... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that will, in fact, last throughout your child's lifetime is the choice of your baby's name. (Unlike, for example, your choice of stroller or... Read More

Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right

One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child is to encourage them to develop a range of interest outside the academic sphere that not only rounds them out but stops them... Read More

What Values Are We Giving Our Children?

On a bright Sunday morning, a couple of weeks ago, I went to South London to receive a message sent from Nigeria. As I entered the lift, I saw a couple, apparently in... Read More

Public Schools --- Why On Earth Do We Need Them?

From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620 until the 1850s, most parents taught their children to read at home or sent their children to small private or religious grammar... Read More

Will My Child Ever Out-grow His Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

If your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder then at some point you will be asking the question, "Will my child ever outgrow it?" Well, there is good news, and not so... Read More

Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?

Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?". But no answer is spoken, the tears just keep... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. But if you want to be an effective father, you... Read More

Shopping with Children

Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute chore ! or are you happy to take them along?Lots of moms don't have any choice in the matter, if they don't own... Read More

Bird Flu Pandemic

What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent spreading in an epidemic outbreak in America of a virus. There are many things you can do and warn your kids not to... Read More

Your Child?s Self-Esteem is in The Cards

Research has shown that the present generation of children worldwide is demonstrating more social-emotional challenges (from low self-esteem to depression) than ever before. Families, schools, recreation programs etc. are recognizing that it is... Read More

Are You Frustrated With Public Schools?

Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year, our nation spent over $382 Billion on education. Over 99% was spent on developing "learning environments" - buildings, books, science labs, teachers, sports... Read More

My Stomach Hurts - I Cant Go to School Today!

It's the third time this week that Sam has complained of a headache or Shaundra has an upset stomach. Daniel cries before leaving school and Tanya won't get out of the car upon... Read More

Clean Slates and Fresh Starts

Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts and new clothes. Pens, pencils and notebooks, the smell of a new box of crayons and a brand new book; it all speaks... Read More

Child ADHD - Deciding Where to Draw the Line

The wonderful adaptability of children in dealing with the challenges of this ever-changing and unpredictable world is really amazing. Their growth from a state of familial security and dependence through progressive stages of... Read More

Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts

Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing cookies and then called him a liar. Brenda Taylor thought her three-year-old's lies were cute, so she ignored them. Yee Chen told her... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus newpaper. My skills were growing and I was earning a reputation as a solid reporter.I was miserable.If I wasn't in class, I was... Read More

The Homeopathic Nutraceutical Attend as an Alternative to Ritalin

You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants to treat ADHD. You no longer have to consider anti-depressants as the alternative to stimulants. There are other choices. Healthier choices. Eighteen months... Read More

Eye-Opening Questions for Working Parents to Ask

I remember watching my 18-month-old son eat a big frosted cookie while I was carrying him out of the bakery. I asked him, "Can you give mommy a bite?" He leaned over and... Read More

Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First

Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was able to count to ten? A geometry text when he began to recognize shapes? War and Peace as soon as she could recite... Read More

Cooking With Your Kids Helps Develop Motor Skills for Preschoolers

Did you know that cooking with your kids is a natural way for them to develop motor skills? If you've never looked at cooking that way before, think again. There's a reason why... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Children, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children or adults is going to have their own opinion on how Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - ADD or ADHD - should be diagnosed.... Read More

Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony

Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism. Most still are, but increasingly parents are choosing an alternative, non-religious ceremony.There are three types of service available at a Church. ... Read More

Understanding The Report

"No thank you. Don't bother to send me the report about the testing results. I won't understand it anyway. I'll just listen at the meeting." Those were the words of more than one... Read More

Uniforms

Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31, 2004I am concerned about my daughter, "Julie." She is 16 and a junior in high school. She gets fair grades, doesn't get into... Read More