What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Q. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

A. "Something that hasn't been invented yet."

Most of us were brought up to study hard, get good grades, choose a "practical" college major, and strive for a "good job."

Talk to a stranded midlife career-changer and you realize the game has changed. Yesterday's rules prepared us to be passengers on a large ocean liner that promised a smooth voyage. Today we realize that ocean liner turned out to be the Titanic and we need to keep ourselves afloat on a small life raft if we want to survive.

Here are some tips to help your child learn not only to survive, but to thrive and grow in a chaotic world.

1. From the first day of kindergarten, encourage your child to build on strengths rather than focus on limitations.

Does she spend hours studying models of cars for the last twenty years? Maybe she'll become an auto mechanic -- or maybe she'll parlay her ability to classify detailed information into a career as a biologist or pharmacist.

2. Encourage your child to choose a field of study based on his or her natural abilities and passions, not "what will get me a job."

Claudia Kennedy, the Army's first female three-star General, majored in philosophy. In her book Generally Speaking, she claims philosophy prepared her to become a top-level intelligence officer. Carly Fiorino, famed CEO of Hewlett-Packard, studied medieval history. And Michael Lewis, financial writer and best-selling author of Liars Poker, was an art history major.

3. Assure your children that few mistakes are fatal.

Did your child fail a course? Face rejection from a first-choice college? Most of us can't avoid an occasional failure, but we can learn bounce-back attitudes as soon as we can talk.

Yolanda Griffith, WNBA basketball star, dropped out of a premier program due to pregnancy. She returned to a lower-ranked college program, baby in tow, and now plays for the Sacramento Monarchs.

I once taught a student who had flunked out of junior college following a close call with the legal system. After a four-year stint in the US Navy, she returned to college, maintained a dean's list grade point average, and went on to a top law school.

4. Encourage your child to experience success in any area of her life.

Did she make the honor roll? Get selected for a play, a club, or athletic team? Win an election for competitive office? Survive a strenuous application process for a summer job? Once your child has tasted success, he will know how it feels and will act like a winner when he enters the job market.

Cecilia, a shy twelve-year-old, blossomed when she won the lead in a school play. "We want you to improve your grades, not spend time in rehearsal!" fumed her worried mother.

To everyone's surprise, Cecilia's grades improved and she made new friends with the "good kids" who were also achievers. Most important, no matter what happens, Cecilia can return to that feeling of success whenever she gets discouraged.

5. Getting into a top university -- or any university -- will not guarantee success.

I've met Ivy Leaguers who have experienced unemployment, bankruptcy and even homelessness. I've met high school drop outs who flourished on their own initiative. In my own small town, a couple with degrees from excellent schools have dropped out to pursue artistic careers -- and they clean houses to pay the bills. Recently a minimum wage job was posted by a nonprofit -- and several unemployed lawyers applied.

Career-changers who face the future with an attitude of "I can handle anything" are the ones who win today. Tossed into the ocean, they'll improvise a set of oars and keep up their spirits till they figure out what to do next. Those who feel betrayed ("I thought I was set for life") flounder around for weeks, months, even years.

Entitlement is over. Those who have a positive outlook, who can seize the unexpected opportunity, can count on reaching the shore. And they realize that only they can transform a resting place into a safe harbor.

About The Author

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First Steps to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com

"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change"

mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com

Contact: mailto:cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294

---

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of... Read More

How Children Can Read Faster and Better

For most children, it is easy to learn to read faster. Their reading rate is often a matter of habit. But to begin, you may need to help them change some of their... Read More

Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child?

"Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father is concerned about his son, a high school athlete with a vision of playing professional sports. The father's fear is that his son... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of best teaching that I have learned from the industry and found in all top sales professionals and successful individuals... Read More

Friends Are A Gift You Give Yourself

My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk about a month ago. He had gotten pretty full of himself and acted like he was too cool for the rest of the... Read More

A Man and His Baby

When a couple steps forth with a baby in tow everything in life is stable and normal. People hold open doors, hard shopkeepers "chuck" and go all gooey before catching themselves and generally... Read More

Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content

The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational resources abound. Kids can easily find help for their homework blues without venturing to the library. Kids can chat with friends from far... Read More

Raising Boys

The last decade has seen heightened interest in and awareness of the issues surrounding boys in most of the western world. It is common knowledge that boys lead the way in all the... Read More

Public-School True Believers with a Mission

One reason public schools get away with educational failure, year after year, is because they are run by school officials who passionately believe in what they are doing. As the great English writer... Read More

Parents/Teens and Money ? 5 Ideas for Keeping the Peace

Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices. It can be difficult to find contentment when a newer, better, faster gizmo of the moment hits the market every day. What's a... Read More

Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is being hailed by experts as a disturbing trend among troubled youth. Such an interpretation may be factual, but mental heath advocates maintain there... Read More

Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice

Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not unlike the sound of constant rain. At first, the rain is obvious as it dramatically announces its arrival, and for a brief moment,... Read More

Non-Compliance in Your Children, Some Tips for Parents

Non-compliance is the family therapist's big word for your child not obeying you when you have asked him or her to do something. It is helpful because it is descriptive, and because it... Read More

What You Can Learn About Life From Your Children

You can learn a lot from children.The best part of all is the advice is priceless.Walls looked so much better when they are decorated with artwork. Markers and crayons work best.The living room... Read More

Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence

Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A discouraging word And the skies are not cloudy all day!Oh, that would be wonderful but most parents and bosses tend to feel that... Read More

Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?

Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but they sure think there is a never-ending supply of it. They see you at the grocery store pushing a cart overflowing with the... Read More

The Value of Play

Isn't it ironic that a country whose constitution allows for the pursuit of happiness now feels a collective guilt about the very idea of anything fun? How did this happen? When did we... Read More

Things To Teach Your Teenage Driver

Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues in his or her life? Regardless of the communication problems, there are two issues you need to discuss with them: driving and insurance.... Read More

Birth of a Parent

So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change in ways you might find unthinkable (and we're not even talking about the surrender of your once slim waistline to proportions most comparable... Read More

Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children

When was the last time you and your kids rolled around on the floor together laughing yourselves silly? If you're like me, it may have been a while! Sometimes I get caught up... Read More

Because Every Child Is A Born Genuis

Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding the human mind through person's handwriting. When a person writes, the signal in the form of letters get decoded / printed on the... Read More

Minimizing Homework Hassles

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's 6:30 at night and you just got home from a long day at work, but the day's not over yet. First, there's dinner,... Read More

Couch Potatoes Beware!

It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight children are generally quite poor. And this is only exacerbated by the teasing and ridicule of their peers ? a situation that, in... Read More

Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them

Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for tuition in private schools, sound good in theory. The problem is that voucher programs are few and very far between. The Supreme Court... Read More

Busy Moms, Dont Forget to Take Time Out for You!

As mothers, we play so many different roles and most of us do not take the time off that we deserve. Just think about it, we play doctor, cook, chauffeur, teacher, lawyer, and... Read More

Diaper Bags for Dads - Papas Got a Brand New Bag

Today's dads are more hands-on than ever before and their involvement is being rewarded with parenting gear designed with men in mind. Many items that have typically been designed for the maternal side... Read More

What the Matter Is

When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my mother with that phrase. I would ask him, "What's the matter?" and he would answer me, "Well, what the matter is..." followed by... Read More

Teaching Your Child Safety

Q. What is the best way to teach safety awareness to young children?A. The best way is to follow your instincts. It is a natural process. You, your parents, your brothers and sisters,... Read More

Learning Disabilities

There are so many learning labels floating around these days ... A.D.D., A.D.H.D., Dyslexia, etc. Basically, these are labels pinned on children who are in some way learning disabled. I think most of... Read More