Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?

Dear Friends,

I no longer teach in public schools, but for what seems like 100 years, I did. During my long career, I did the best I knew how to do at the time, based on where I was in life, and what I had learned about teaching.

In parenting and teaching both, however, we sometimes learn things too late. If only I could go back, I would do many things differently. One thing I would handle differently would be homework.

Today, I?m going to address an issue that raises the hair on the heads of many people: Homework. Homework is so revered in our culture that to oppose it can almost result in being one declared a heretic.

I?m going to tell you about the proverbial straw that prompted me to end homework forever. (That is, except for optional homework I gave so that the kids whose parents wanted something to occupy their kids at home other than television had something constructive to do.)

One day, I heard ?.

?Help! Help my mommy! He's beating her! And he took the baby! Help!?

Those are words of a real little girl named Lisa, who called 911 in California when her father was in one of his violent rages. A tape of the actual phone call was played at a domestic violence meeting I attended some years back in Atlanta.

We listened as the six year old child cried and begged the police to get to her mommy before it was too late. We could hear sounds in the background that reminded us the situation was both urgent and real.

I could almost picture the woman being slammed to the ground as her drunken husband held the baby above her with a smirk, reminding her that he would take that baby and she'd never see him again if she didn't get up and do as he ordered right that minute.

The police arrived, and the tape ended. My face felt wet with tears that did not stop when the speaker hit the stop button.

As I sat there, my "teacher" mind started thinking. If that little girl was in a typical classroom, the next morning, Lisa would walk into her class at school, pretending all was well. Even at age six, she knew how to play the game.

And then, before long, the teacher would ask for homework. Lisa would look through her bookbag, hoping that somehow, the homework would magically appear. But of course, the miracle she needed right then didn't happen. (She needed that miracle much more the previous night, but that?s a whole different issue.)

A moment later, she'd hear her name called. She'd go to the teacher's desk, and the teacher would speak to her firmly. "Lisa? I don't see your homework. Where is it? Did you forget to do it again?"

Lisa would lower her head, nodding nervously. "Yes, mam," she'd say.

"Lisa, I don't know what we're going to do with you, but I can tell you right now that at this rate, you are going to make an F on your report card. You won't do your homework. I have six zeros written in my grade-book for you, and this is only the second week of the quarter," the teacher informs Lisa.

Lisa says nothing, but inside, she feels her little body tensing up.

"Lisa!" the teacher snarls. "I spoke to you. WHY won?t you do your homework? You certainly won?t pass first grade if you keep this up! What happened to the note that I sent home to your parents? Did you show it to them? I bet you didn't, because I know your dad, and I know he'd see that you did your homework if he knew what was going on."

Lisa's eyes get big, and she starts to speak but she cannot get any words out.

"Lisa! WHERE IS THE NOTE I SENT HOME YESTERDAY?" the teacher says. Lisa hears snickering sounds coming from the other students, who probably are relieved that SHE is the one getting in trouble, not them.

"Ummm .... I have it at home. I forgot to show it to my mom, but I will tonight," Lisa says.

"You forgot? Bring that note AND the homework back tomorrow!" the teacher replies. "Or else!"

All of a sudden, the lights came on and I realized that the meeting was over. I was not in the mood to socialize with the other attendees. All I could focus on was getting out of the meeting.

I had been learning towards ending homework for my students, but after I heard that tape, I knew I would never make an issue of homework again. For all I knew, every child in the classroom could be living through similar nightmares at home. In the big scheme of life, is homework REALLY that important?

Quote for the week: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862)

I wish you peace.

Karyl
Reluctant Traveler

Karyl Chastain Beal
The Reluctant Traveler Columbia, Tennessee Mother, Writer, Teacher, Student

Arlyn's memorial website http://virtual-memoria ls.com/servlet/ViewMemorials?memid=7461&pageno=1

Grieving Parents http://grieving-parents.com

Suicide Memorial Wall http://www.suicidememorialwall.com

---

How To Teach Your Children Social Skills

As our children grow, they will be going to schools and interacting with lots of different people other. For example, friends and teachers. Hence it is necessary to teach them the social skills... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that will, in fact, last throughout your child's lifetime is the choice of your baby's name. (Unlike, for example, your choice of stroller or... Read More

Helping Your Child to Deal with Change

Fall marks the beginning of many new things both for our children and for us. Starting something new always means change and all of us respond to change differently. Many of us welcome... Read More

Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood

Have you ever experienced one of those days when you wanted to return to the carefree days of childhood when your biggest worry was how you could con your parents into staying up... Read More

Healthy Eating For Children: Six Simple Rules

Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should be nutritious. Children can be picky and inconsistent, so make sure that what they do eat is really good for them. That way... Read More

Life Stuck In Fast Forward

the woes of being a parent of an ADHD child.....Like Curious George discovering new things and fiddling with the old, you go through life. Taking things apart and scattering the pieces here and... Read More

Raising Strong Daughters

When my daughter was born, I must admit there was a distinctly different feeling to it. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Driving and Having a Car is a Privilege, Not a Right

Q. My teenage son is turning 16 early next year and he's already lobbying us for a new car. He says all his friends are getting new cars, that he deserves one because... Read More

Is Your Teen Stressed? Teach Them How to Manage Their Time, Schoolwork, and Leisure Activities

I hear from many parents that their child is stressed out with schoolwork, tests, finals, finding time to study, and extracurricular activities.I know I mentioned in our previous Organewz issue that I would... Read More

Detox To Help Conception

Detox To Conceive.. If you're having trouble conceiving your body may need a detox. The key to fertility is getting the body into its natural optimum balance, which is often... Read More

10 Steps to School Year Success

One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring that your child gets a good education. School is a place where your child not only learns skills such as reading and writing;... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What Parents Say About Teens

What is hard for parentsLetting them learn from their mistakes.Trying not to fix their problems.Learning to trust in ways I've never had to before.We hurt when they hurt.Being lied to.Trying to continue to... Read More

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent child and replaced them with a monster? Are you confused that somehow you have gone from knowing everything as a parent, to knowing... Read More

Vouchers --- Parents, Dont Depend On Them

Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for tuition in private schools, sound good in theory. The problem is that voucher programs are few and very far between. The Supreme Court... Read More

Learning Responsibility is a Lifelong Process

Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelong process.As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our response to events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible when we... Read More

Toilet Terrors And Other Potty Training Fears

Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among toddlers and small children. Look at things from your child's perspective. He is giving up the security of a diaper for a big,... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many times, however, either the children are in charge or the parents are so eager to be liked, that whatever rules and standards are... Read More

Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD

The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are stimulant medications. Anti-depressant medications, and even anti-convulsant medications, are sometimes used as well, though this is less common. ... Read More

The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do

1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong.... Read More

How Effective is the Nutraceutical ATTEND with ADHD?

I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder called ATTEND, and the other Nutraceutical products made by VAXA International in Tampa, FL. In fact, I spent nearly two years studying... Read More

Defrazzle with a Hearty Guffaw

"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul."Linda KnightWe all know the old adage that "Laugher is the best medicine" - but what does... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius - Right Brain/Left Brain Coordination

No matter how old your children are, you have an immense power to affect their growth, development and success in life. By actively pursuing activities that contribute to the better development of their... Read More

Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries

Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is... Read More

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of your life. It is also one of the most stressful. So many decisions have to be made about nearly every aspect of... Read More

Parents/Teens and Money ? 5 Ideas for Keeping the Peace

Children and teenagers are relentlessly bombarded with merchandise that entices. It can be difficult to find contentment when a newer, better, faster gizmo of the moment hits the market every day. What's a... Read More

Are You Addicted to Your Children?

Is it possible to be using our children addictively?Anything that we use to get love, avoid pain, and fill up inner emptiness can become an addiction ? even our children! If your children... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep your children from accessing undesirable websites. There are two good ones, Cyber Patrol and Net Nanny.There is also software that will create a... Read More

Children Need Roots and Wings

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe first time I heard this quote, it made me think. The two sound contradictory - roots and wings: one to tie us to... Read More

Vision: 20/20 Is Not Enough!

Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision checked. Don't be too quick to say, "My child's vision is fine: 20/20!" In many cases that is not enough.The Snellen chart, the... Read More